Another quick post, mostly so I don't fall out of the habit of blogging.
People can really surprise you. When I first met LG, we didn't really get on. We had a healthy respect, but I thought he was a shallow, vacuous, pretentious airhead. We've got on a lot better for a long while, but I've only recently started to appreciate his depth and the real person behind the facade. I still think he has a naive world view, and as a liberal viewing any Conservative, I think he is liable to be more selfish than this world needs.
To summarise, it's a point I picked up from Derren Brown's excellent book "Tricks of the Mind". The impression you make on other people may as well be the real you. If you're really a nice person, but you act like an arse in front of everyone, you are an arse. Even if this is down to shyness or anything else. Not that I'm unsympathetic, I'm a neurotic about my shyness and often cock up badly as I'm terrified of making a bad impression or being boring, but if I give into my shyness I'd make a worse impression.
I noticed I'm rambling, so will stop there.
AcidCat
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunny Sunday
A combination of the "say yes" and "Do it" thoughts led to today being somewhat busy.
I decided to ring a friend who I go breakdancing with to see if he was going today, to the Oxford session. He's been suggesting I went for a while, so I asked him. He said he would if I would, so I said yes, and agreed to meet him for the 8pm session.
I then rang my brother to see if he wanted to do an early dinner together before my breakdancing. He agreed, and despite my offer to go out to eat, he suggested cooking round mine. We decided to meet at around 5-5:30pm round mine.
I went into town, picking up my car en route. It's incredibly difficult to park a car in Oxford, even on a Sunday. I found a two hour parking space near Keble road, so popped into the lab briefly, doing a little work, but not much. Sphincter Boy and JizzNut were there, I was pleased to see one of them and we had a bit of a chat about rugby, while I tried to work. All too soon my two hours were up, so I had to head back to move the car. On leaving the lab I met the Ringleader who wasn't overjoyed at the prospect of sharing a Sunday in the lab with JizzNut.
I trawled the centre trying to find a space, but to no avail. I finally chanced upon a space on Walton Street, so walked to Sainsbury's and Marks & Spencer, where I decided I'd base a meal on roast chicken as they were on offer in M&S. I got some decadent oozing filling steamed puddings in both Chocolate sponge and sticky toffee pudding flavours.
I headed back home as I realised that I needed to get the chicken on or it would be very late. I dashed straight to the kitchen and looked at the electric fan oven. I don't really trust electric cooking devices, but it turns out that this one was excellent, and I really should have reduced the temperature for the fan assisted oven as suggested on the packaging. As it happened, the food ended up being slightly carbon enhanced.
My brother cycled through the pouring rain and I welcomed him with a cup of tea. He set to fixing my punctured bike tyre, while I put the rest of the food on. I was quite impressed by my efficiency, managing to feed him by around 6pm. He was a sweetie, and didn't mind the food being a little blackened cajun style (partly from the standard of Balliol hall food being quite as disgusting as it is). I managed to burn the beansprouts with parma ham a little, thank god I got the rice ok, or it would have been a clean sweep.
We had a lovely chat, but I had to dash off for the breaking session. I drove to the session which was good fun, but I'm really rusty and unfit. It was nice to meet my friend Q again though. Despite it finishing at gone 10, he asked if I wanted to go for food or drink with him. Normally I would say no, but with the new resolution I followed him to a chinese where I sipped an Orange Tango. It was fun just yapping away, and we left at nearly midnight when they were shutting up shop.
It's been a busy day, and lots of fun. It's largely come about through saying yes, and the mentality of "doing". So enrich your life: Say yes, and Do it!
AcidCat
PS www.tanksforsale.co.uk has used tanks for the price of a small family car. I'd better start saving...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This Blog post has been brought to you by AcidCat, plugging www.do-it.org the nationwide volunteering website. Put something back, and have some fun while you're at it!
I decided to ring a friend who I go breakdancing with to see if he was going today, to the Oxford session. He's been suggesting I went for a while, so I asked him. He said he would if I would, so I said yes, and agreed to meet him for the 8pm session.
I then rang my brother to see if he wanted to do an early dinner together before my breakdancing. He agreed, and despite my offer to go out to eat, he suggested cooking round mine. We decided to meet at around 5-5:30pm round mine.
I went into town, picking up my car en route. It's incredibly difficult to park a car in Oxford, even on a Sunday. I found a two hour parking space near Keble road, so popped into the lab briefly, doing a little work, but not much. Sphincter Boy and JizzNut were there, I was pleased to see one of them and we had a bit of a chat about rugby, while I tried to work. All too soon my two hours were up, so I had to head back to move the car. On leaving the lab I met the Ringleader who wasn't overjoyed at the prospect of sharing a Sunday in the lab with JizzNut.
I trawled the centre trying to find a space, but to no avail. I finally chanced upon a space on Walton Street, so walked to Sainsbury's and Marks & Spencer, where I decided I'd base a meal on roast chicken as they were on offer in M&S. I got some decadent oozing filling steamed puddings in both Chocolate sponge and sticky toffee pudding flavours.
I headed back home as I realised that I needed to get the chicken on or it would be very late. I dashed straight to the kitchen and looked at the electric fan oven. I don't really trust electric cooking devices, but it turns out that this one was excellent, and I really should have reduced the temperature for the fan assisted oven as suggested on the packaging. As it happened, the food ended up being slightly carbon enhanced.
My brother cycled through the pouring rain and I welcomed him with a cup of tea. He set to fixing my punctured bike tyre, while I put the rest of the food on. I was quite impressed by my efficiency, managing to feed him by around 6pm. He was a sweetie, and didn't mind the food being a little blackened cajun style (partly from the standard of Balliol hall food being quite as disgusting as it is). I managed to burn the beansprouts with parma ham a little, thank god I got the rice ok, or it would have been a clean sweep.
We had a lovely chat, but I had to dash off for the breaking session. I drove to the session which was good fun, but I'm really rusty and unfit. It was nice to meet my friend Q again though. Despite it finishing at gone 10, he asked if I wanted to go for food or drink with him. Normally I would say no, but with the new resolution I followed him to a chinese where I sipped an Orange Tango. It was fun just yapping away, and we left at nearly midnight when they were shutting up shop.
It's been a busy day, and lots of fun. It's largely come about through saying yes, and the mentality of "doing". So enrich your life: Say yes, and Do it!
AcidCat
PS www.tanksforsale.co.uk has used tanks for the price of a small family car. I'd better start saving...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This Blog post has been brought to you by AcidCat, plugging www.do-it.org the nationwide volunteering website. Put something back, and have some fun while you're at it!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Do
It's always easier not to do, than it is to do.
But you will always get more out of doing, than not doing.
So do.
AcidCat
But you will always get more out of doing, than not doing.
So do.
AcidCat
Lazy
I have done nothing today.
I meant to go to the lab and do a full day, but I ended up going to sleep after lunch and was asleep till about 4pm.
The most constructive thing I did today was one load of washing.
I slept, ate, played computer games.
It felt great.
Tomorrow will be back to the grindstone though.
AcidCat
PS Nethack is a damn addictive computer game. I discovered it after constant references about it in the webcomic User Friendly. It's free and is available for a wide variety of operating systems. It's got basic graphics but is so much fun. It's a game that you can lose your life playing. Download it now!
I meant to go to the lab and do a full day, but I ended up going to sleep after lunch and was asleep till about 4pm.
The most constructive thing I did today was one load of washing.
I slept, ate, played computer games.
It felt great.
Tomorrow will be back to the grindstone though.
AcidCat
PS Nethack is a damn addictive computer game. I discovered it after constant references about it in the webcomic User Friendly. It's free and is available for a wide variety of operating systems. It's got basic graphics but is so much fun. It's a game that you can lose your life playing. Download it now!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Depression vs Sadness
It's nearly two am, I've just come back from the lab, and it seems like an ideal time to discuss the difference between being depressed, and being sad.
This evening, I've been at work on my own till half past one in the morning. I'm exhausted. I spent the time composing questions for a problem session that I'm sure everyone will gripe about, either behind my back or to my face. I had a pretty unsuccessful, stressful day. I finally gave up on my cow-worker Jizznut as an irritating, self-important, ego-testical, self-centred, bigoted, selfish waste of space. I had to cycle home in a torrential downpour without waterproofs. My bike tyre had a sudden and rapid puncture halfway back, forcing me to walk home, and fix it at some point.
I may be angry, annoyed and a bit sad, but I'm not feeling depressed.
Depression is a whole world apart from being sad.
When I was depressed, I couldn't function. Every little thing seemed insurmountable. My whole life was unbearable, and the slightest problem would derail me.
Some people say the difference between sadness and depression is down to whether or not you've got a reason to be sad, and depression is when you're gloomy. I think it's closer to PMT (I'd assume from descriptions of PMT, having never had it) in that depression means very tiny triggers can plunge you into the depths of despair.
I wish I could be more eloquent about this, but due to my general fatigue, I'm being somewhat inelegant with my words, so I'll stop for the night and may have another stab at what I'm trying to say later in the future.
Good night, love to you all. Do everything you can to make this world a better place to live in.
AcidCat
This evening, I've been at work on my own till half past one in the morning. I'm exhausted. I spent the time composing questions for a problem session that I'm sure everyone will gripe about, either behind my back or to my face. I had a pretty unsuccessful, stressful day. I finally gave up on my cow-worker Jizznut as an irritating, self-important, ego-testical, self-centred, bigoted, selfish waste of space. I had to cycle home in a torrential downpour without waterproofs. My bike tyre had a sudden and rapid puncture halfway back, forcing me to walk home, and fix it at some point.
I may be angry, annoyed and a bit sad, but I'm not feeling depressed.
Depression is a whole world apart from being sad.
When I was depressed, I couldn't function. Every little thing seemed insurmountable. My whole life was unbearable, and the slightest problem would derail me.
Some people say the difference between sadness and depression is down to whether or not you've got a reason to be sad, and depression is when you're gloomy. I think it's closer to PMT (I'd assume from descriptions of PMT, having never had it) in that depression means very tiny triggers can plunge you into the depths of despair.
I wish I could be more eloquent about this, but due to my general fatigue, I'm being somewhat inelegant with my words, so I'll stop for the night and may have another stab at what I'm trying to say later in the future.
Good night, love to you all. Do everything you can to make this world a better place to live in.
AcidCat
Friday, February 23, 2007
Tired again
Only just got back from work, so just time for a quick final thought.
Most people are basically good, give them time and patience.
Some people are basically arseholes, give them everything they deserve.
Oh and anti-depressants are a very good thing. Life feels very manageable at the moment.
AcidCat
Most people are basically good, give them time and patience.
Some people are basically arseholes, give them everything they deserve.
Oh and anti-depressants are a very good thing. Life feels very manageable at the moment.
AcidCat
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Lent
Shrove Tuesday is over. The pancakes are all eaten, and forty days separate us from tearing into our chocolate easter eggs.
Giving up something for Lent seems a good idea. Many religions advocate a period of self-denial to make you appreciate how lucky we are, to concentrate on non-material matters and to generally improve ourselves.
I'm not religious, but I will be giving up stuff for Lent. I think it's a good time to re-affirm the New Year's resolutions, and improve ourselves by giving up vices.
A friend is giving up chocolate, cake, biscuits and crisps for Lent. I think it's a great idea, and really hope he succeeds. I've bet him a big chocolate egg come Easter and £10 for a charity of his choice if he makes it. And if he fails, I get smug rights in return. I hope he wins.
I believe in self-improvement. Use every excuse to start the process.
AcidCat
Giving up something for Lent seems a good idea. Many religions advocate a period of self-denial to make you appreciate how lucky we are, to concentrate on non-material matters and to generally improve ourselves.
I'm not religious, but I will be giving up stuff for Lent. I think it's a good time to re-affirm the New Year's resolutions, and improve ourselves by giving up vices.
A friend is giving up chocolate, cake, biscuits and crisps for Lent. I think it's a great idea, and really hope he succeeds. I've bet him a big chocolate egg come Easter and £10 for a charity of his choice if he makes it. And if he fails, I get smug rights in return. I hope he wins.
I believe in self-improvement. Use every excuse to start the process.
AcidCat
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Healing
Let me make a confession that I haven't told any real person. I've got a bit of a crush on two girls.
I think this is progress, as not that long ago I thought I'd never be able to love again, or even think of anyone except The One who Got Away. The difference is, I love her, I think it's just a teenage style crush on these two new girls, but at least it's a step forwards.
I wonder if my mind is trying to protect me. I know I'm not ready for a relationship yet, as I'm still trying to get over everything. So the two girls I really like are both completely impossible for me.
One is someone who I work with, and the other is a supportive friend who I know from my uni days, now plying her trade as a lawyer.
Both are far too beautiful for me, way out of my league. I think I'm reasonably average looking, which for my self-esteem is a hell of a lot of progress. However, I think the objects of my confessions are absolutely gorgeous. They're both slender and pretty, with a wonderful sense of style, and clothes just look amazing on both of them.
In addition, there's a bit of a geographical problem. The lawyer lives on the opposite side of the country to me, and the work mate plans on moving back to her homeland elsewhere in Europe when she finishes her studies.
The lawyer is someone I had a bit of a crush on while at uni, and she politely knocked me back then. My current workmate is seeing a gorgeous boyfriend here, so I don't have the slightest chance with either.
However, if you're a Geordie trainee lawyer or a Portugese chemist living in Oxford, occasionally amused by a very geeky friend, just remember, someone is very lucky to have you both as a friend, and loves you both, even just as a friend. You really enrich my life. Both of you deserve a hell of a lot of happiness, and you're wonderful people.
Gushing over.
AcidCat
I think this is progress, as not that long ago I thought I'd never be able to love again, or even think of anyone except The One who Got Away. The difference is, I love her, I think it's just a teenage style crush on these two new girls, but at least it's a step forwards.
I wonder if my mind is trying to protect me. I know I'm not ready for a relationship yet, as I'm still trying to get over everything. So the two girls I really like are both completely impossible for me.
One is someone who I work with, and the other is a supportive friend who I know from my uni days, now plying her trade as a lawyer.
Both are far too beautiful for me, way out of my league. I think I'm reasonably average looking, which for my self-esteem is a hell of a lot of progress. However, I think the objects of my confessions are absolutely gorgeous. They're both slender and pretty, with a wonderful sense of style, and clothes just look amazing on both of them.
In addition, there's a bit of a geographical problem. The lawyer lives on the opposite side of the country to me, and the work mate plans on moving back to her homeland elsewhere in Europe when she finishes her studies.
The lawyer is someone I had a bit of a crush on while at uni, and she politely knocked me back then. My current workmate is seeing a gorgeous boyfriend here, so I don't have the slightest chance with either.
However, if you're a Geordie trainee lawyer or a Portugese chemist living in Oxford, occasionally amused by a very geeky friend, just remember, someone is very lucky to have you both as a friend, and loves you both, even just as a friend. You really enrich my life. Both of you deserve a hell of a lot of happiness, and you're wonderful people.
Gushing over.
AcidCat
Hamish and Dougal - You'll Have Had your Tea.
A lady from North Carolina
Took a trip on an ocean liner
She said to the stoker
A bit of a joker,
It's high time you saw Indo-China
Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer are comedy gold.
If you can check out this spin off to the excellent I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue on BBC Radio 4 (repeated on BBC Radio 7), you'll love the old styleword-smithery and puns.
Check it out and try and discover another comedy gem.
In fact there are many great radio comedies here on the BBC radio player, updated regularly.
Plug over
AcidCat
Took a trip on an ocean liner
She said to the stoker
A bit of a joker,
It's high time you saw Indo-China
Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer are comedy gold.
If you can check out this spin off to the excellent I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue on BBC Radio 4 (repeated on BBC Radio 7), you'll love the old styleword-smithery and puns.
Check it out and try and discover another comedy gem.
In fact there are many great radio comedies here on the BBC radio player, updated regularly.
Plug over
AcidCat
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Reasons to be cheerful, part 1
Today is Shrove Tuesday, final day before Lent... time to have one last day of gluttony before 40 days of deprivation.
This morning started well. I got a lovely compliment from a lovely lab mate from a different group. She said that I would make a great doctor and I should work with kids as I have a personality for it as I'm very positive. I had told her that I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't tell her that I wanted to work in paediatrics. It's a wonderful feeling to have your decisions vindicated, especially by people you like. I need to get down to the whole application process...
My other high of the day was the evening. I had already asked the lab if they fancied coming round my house to make pancakes, but had my offer declined. I was facing an evening of working late in the lab with my good friend the Ringleader. Our labmate LG was talking about joining us, but he was a bit depressed and was thinking of just going home. We tried to tempt him to come out and join us for dinner, even if he wasn't staying to work, but he just looked miserable and was going to go home. It was only when we suggested icecream that he was excited and agreed to come out for a bit.
When we got to the icecream parlour (G&D's), I noticed that the really excellent cocktail bar opposite (Duke of Cambridge) was on half-price happy hour, and knowing LG had a weakness for cocktails and looked like he could do with a drink, our merry band went in for a quick one.
And then another.
It was great fun. I love the little unexpected impromptu evenings out much more than Friday night drinking. I love the way it's a bonus, Friday nights seem like you're meant to be out and having fun, and you're a loser if you're not. I love the way other nights it isn't as crowded and feels a little illicit as you're out on a school night...
We had a great time. I had a Creme Brulee flavoured cocktail which was ok, and a wonderful Black Forest cocktail. By the end of happy hour we were in fine spirits and a very chirpy, jovial bunch. It had done all three of us a lot of good, and rounding off the evening in the ice cream parlour was a happy ending. We didn't end up managing to achieve any work, but I'm glad I went. It was being completely true to the spirit of the "Yes" campaign. It's the kind of thing that would have been very easy, sensible and logical to say no to, but had I done so, I think that all three of us would have had a worse evening for it. We blew off a little steam and I'm glad we all said yes, despite LG feeling down, and my and the Ringmaster's workloads.
I loved being in the position that instead of being the one who needed lifting up, I was the one able to help cheer up others. I don't always get it right, but when you manage to make someone's life a little better, it's the most incredibly fantastic feeling.
That's why I want to be a doctor.
Love to you all, party hard, and say yes.
AcidCat
This morning started well. I got a lovely compliment from a lovely lab mate from a different group. She said that I would make a great doctor and I should work with kids as I have a personality for it as I'm very positive. I had told her that I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't tell her that I wanted to work in paediatrics. It's a wonderful feeling to have your decisions vindicated, especially by people you like. I need to get down to the whole application process...
My other high of the day was the evening. I had already asked the lab if they fancied coming round my house to make pancakes, but had my offer declined. I was facing an evening of working late in the lab with my good friend the Ringleader. Our labmate LG was talking about joining us, but he was a bit depressed and was thinking of just going home. We tried to tempt him to come out and join us for dinner, even if he wasn't staying to work, but he just looked miserable and was going to go home. It was only when we suggested icecream that he was excited and agreed to come out for a bit.
When we got to the icecream parlour (G&D's), I noticed that the really excellent cocktail bar opposite (Duke of Cambridge) was on half-price happy hour, and knowing LG had a weakness for cocktails and looked like he could do with a drink, our merry band went in for a quick one.
And then another.
It was great fun. I love the little unexpected impromptu evenings out much more than Friday night drinking. I love the way it's a bonus, Friday nights seem like you're meant to be out and having fun, and you're a loser if you're not. I love the way other nights it isn't as crowded and feels a little illicit as you're out on a school night...
We had a great time. I had a Creme Brulee flavoured cocktail which was ok, and a wonderful Black Forest cocktail. By the end of happy hour we were in fine spirits and a very chirpy, jovial bunch. It had done all three of us a lot of good, and rounding off the evening in the ice cream parlour was a happy ending. We didn't end up managing to achieve any work, but I'm glad I went. It was being completely true to the spirit of the "Yes" campaign. It's the kind of thing that would have been very easy, sensible and logical to say no to, but had I done so, I think that all three of us would have had a worse evening for it. We blew off a little steam and I'm glad we all said yes, despite LG feeling down, and my and the Ringmaster's workloads.
I loved being in the position that instead of being the one who needed lifting up, I was the one able to help cheer up others. I don't always get it right, but when you manage to make someone's life a little better, it's the most incredibly fantastic feeling.
That's why I want to be a doctor.
Love to you all, party hard, and say yes.
AcidCat
Monday, February 19, 2007
Why I blog
I recently read through a popular philosophy book called "The Pig that wants to be eaten: and ninety-nine other thought experiments". I enjoyed reading it and exercising my brain.
One thought experiment theme is a discussion of art. Is art worthwhile if no-one is able to see it? One example was: if there was a lead lined box which contained an unseen, undiscovered Michaelangelo, but was rigged to explode should the box be opened or probed, would it be worth keeping as art?
Basically, this blog falls into that category. The only people who might be interested in reading this are the people who know me. I have deliberately kept it a secret: if anyone who knows me stumbles across this blog, they'll know who I am, but I haven't advertised it to anyone. Anyone who doesn't know me won't find this interesting enough to keep reading. The situation reminds me of the middle verse of "Eleanor Rigby" where Father McKenzie is "writing the words of a sermon that no-one will hear".
So, why do I bother blogging?
My conclusion on the art thought experiment was that if the essence of art is the self-expression of the artist, then it doesn't matter if no-one sees it. If art has to be done for fame, money, or to make a point, then it's worthless if private, but I'm a romantic and I like to think it is there for the artists enjoyment (not that I'm conceited enough to compare my poorly phrased writing with Michaelangelo's creativity).
I blog as an outlet for my thoughts. It's a very cheap form of therapy. I'd like to use it as a way of getting my thoughts in order, and find out about myself. It's a nice record if I ever decide to read over it again.
I also enjoy having a place to whinge without any repercussions of coming back to bite me. I want to vent after a frustrating day.
In the unlikely event of anyone reading any of it for pleasure or information, it would be a definite added bonus.
Anyway, enough rambling for one night.
Love to you all.
AcidCat
One thought experiment theme is a discussion of art. Is art worthwhile if no-one is able to see it? One example was: if there was a lead lined box which contained an unseen, undiscovered Michaelangelo, but was rigged to explode should the box be opened or probed, would it be worth keeping as art?
Basically, this blog falls into that category. The only people who might be interested in reading this are the people who know me. I have deliberately kept it a secret: if anyone who knows me stumbles across this blog, they'll know who I am, but I haven't advertised it to anyone. Anyone who doesn't know me won't find this interesting enough to keep reading. The situation reminds me of the middle verse of "Eleanor Rigby" where Father McKenzie is "writing the words of a sermon that no-one will hear".
So, why do I bother blogging?
My conclusion on the art thought experiment was that if the essence of art is the self-expression of the artist, then it doesn't matter if no-one sees it. If art has to be done for fame, money, or to make a point, then it's worthless if private, but I'm a romantic and I like to think it is there for the artists enjoyment (not that I'm conceited enough to compare my poorly phrased writing with Michaelangelo's creativity).
I blog as an outlet for my thoughts. It's a very cheap form of therapy. I'd like to use it as a way of getting my thoughts in order, and find out about myself. It's a nice record if I ever decide to read over it again.
I also enjoy having a place to whinge without any repercussions of coming back to bite me. I want to vent after a frustrating day.
In the unlikely event of anyone reading any of it for pleasure or information, it would be a definite added bonus.
Anyway, enough rambling for one night.
Love to you all.
AcidCat
My lover's box
Send me an angel to love,
I need to feel a little piece of heaven.
Send me an angel to love,
I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven.
-- My Lover's Box - Garbage
Thinking you're alone and going to remain alone for the rest of your life is a depressing thought.
AcidCat
Sunday, February 18, 2007
R.I.P Andrew Mason
I had a really enjoyable weekend. A weekend where I managed to do some work, spend an evening with my family, and catch up with a friend who had been a constant support in my time of need. I then drove back up to university with my brother.
There I was wandering through his back quad, where I saw many bouquets of flowers around a tree. I asked my brother if it was for a college memorial. He told me that the Balliol college JCR student president, Andrew Mason, had recently committed suicide.
I didn't know Andrew at all. Apparently he was a bright, kind and gifted student, with a girlfriend and was doing very well and his death was a complete surprise. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about suicide. I have come to the conclusion that it isn't the answer, and there is almost always a better way.
No matter how dire the problem, or the pressure you're put under, it isn't worth throwing your life away. I never got too close to the edge, as I never wanted to put my family through any pain or suffering. However, without that anchor, I could see how easy it would be to slip over. Getting depressed, you become irrational, and all your problems seem insurmountable.
Even the most serious problems, you can go away and start a new life. Do something positive. Go to a different country and make a difference to someone's life. If necessary, borrow the money and disappear. Life is too important and precious to waste.
Having experienced depression, I know how debilitating it can be though. Suicide seems an attractive option when you feel your life is a waste and you have nothing to live for, no future. If this ever seems the case, please get help. Talk to a friend, family, the Samaritans or a doctor. If your doctor isn't helping, see another until you find one who will take you seriously.
Having come out the other side, mostly intact, I can vouch that the struggle is worth it. One day the sun will shine again, so it's important that you're around to see it.
So, to the friends and family of Andrew Mason, my thoughts are with you. My condolences to you at this painful time.
To everyone else, please value everything you have, you have no idea when it may all get swept away from you in a heartbeat. Show your love at every possible opportunity.
Rest in peace, Andrew.
AcidCat
There I was wandering through his back quad, where I saw many bouquets of flowers around a tree. I asked my brother if it was for a college memorial. He told me that the Balliol college JCR student president, Andrew Mason, had recently committed suicide.
I didn't know Andrew at all. Apparently he was a bright, kind and gifted student, with a girlfriend and was doing very well and his death was a complete surprise. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about suicide. I have come to the conclusion that it isn't the answer, and there is almost always a better way.
No matter how dire the problem, or the pressure you're put under, it isn't worth throwing your life away. I never got too close to the edge, as I never wanted to put my family through any pain or suffering. However, without that anchor, I could see how easy it would be to slip over. Getting depressed, you become irrational, and all your problems seem insurmountable.
Even the most serious problems, you can go away and start a new life. Do something positive. Go to a different country and make a difference to someone's life. If necessary, borrow the money and disappear. Life is too important and precious to waste.
Having experienced depression, I know how debilitating it can be though. Suicide seems an attractive option when you feel your life is a waste and you have nothing to live for, no future. If this ever seems the case, please get help. Talk to a friend, family, the Samaritans or a doctor. If your doctor isn't helping, see another until you find one who will take you seriously.
Having come out the other side, mostly intact, I can vouch that the struggle is worth it. One day the sun will shine again, so it's important that you're around to see it.
So, to the friends and family of Andrew Mason, my thoughts are with you. My condolences to you at this painful time.
To everyone else, please value everything you have, you have no idea when it may all get swept away from you in a heartbeat. Show your love at every possible opportunity.
Rest in peace, Andrew.
AcidCat
Animal rights bastards
There was a little "animal rights" protest in Oxford today. I'm going to have a short rant about animal rights people.
I don't believe in deliberate cruelty of animals. I think that is reprehensible.
However, I think the "animal rights" anti-vivisection protest movement is picking on a soft target.
The worst disregard of animal rights is in the intensive factory farming trade. Battery hens, broiler chickens and pigs get horrendous conditions, poor space, cruelty beyond belief.
Are there any protests against it? Like hell. This is because people don't eat cute fluffy pets. We don't really care what happens to pigs or chickens.
We have good alternatives to this disgrace. We could eat more naturally produced outdoor reared, organic meat. We could even eat a healthy vegetarian diet. So why don't the animal rights people sort this problem out?
Instead, they attack animal testing. Testing on animals is banned on cosmetics in the UK, so let's leave that out of the argument.
Animals have potential medicines tested on them. It's a legal requirement.
There is no other way of testing toxicity of these substances, unless people want to volunteer to play russian roulette with new drugs. Despite what their propaganda says, computer testing, and tissue samples do not accurately reflect how drugs behave in the body.
Animal testing is a necessary tool. If it wasn't, the drug companies would much prefer to test on computers or tissue samples, as it would be much cheaper. It's not going to work, and never is going to work.
Please, think carefully before you believe these people. If you want to make a difference to animal cruelty, start with meat which is an unnecessary luxury, not with medicines that could save millions of lives.
I'm not involved in the vivisection movement. I'm just a knowledgeable scientist who supports it as a sad but necessary part of saving human lives.
AcidCat
PS Happy Chinese new year to you all.
I don't believe in deliberate cruelty of animals. I think that is reprehensible.
However, I think the "animal rights" anti-vivisection protest movement is picking on a soft target.
The worst disregard of animal rights is in the intensive factory farming trade. Battery hens, broiler chickens and pigs get horrendous conditions, poor space, cruelty beyond belief.
Are there any protests against it? Like hell. This is because people don't eat cute fluffy pets. We don't really care what happens to pigs or chickens.
We have good alternatives to this disgrace. We could eat more naturally produced outdoor reared, organic meat. We could even eat a healthy vegetarian diet. So why don't the animal rights people sort this problem out?
Instead, they attack animal testing. Testing on animals is banned on cosmetics in the UK, so let's leave that out of the argument.
Animals have potential medicines tested on them. It's a legal requirement.
There is no other way of testing toxicity of these substances, unless people want to volunteer to play russian roulette with new drugs. Despite what their propaganda says, computer testing, and tissue samples do not accurately reflect how drugs behave in the body.
Animal testing is a necessary tool. If it wasn't, the drug companies would much prefer to test on computers or tissue samples, as it would be much cheaper. It's not going to work, and never is going to work.
Please, think carefully before you believe these people. If you want to make a difference to animal cruelty, start with meat which is an unnecessary luxury, not with medicines that could save millions of lives.
I'm not involved in the vivisection movement. I'm just a knowledgeable scientist who supports it as a sad but necessary part of saving human lives.
AcidCat
PS Happy Chinese new year to you all.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
ultra tired
Very short post, as I finished at the lab at 2:30am, and I've only just got back. I started getting light headed and dizzy, so decided to call it a night. It feels very virtuous working so late. You also build a camaraderie with the other insane night zombies, so wave to strangers on the basis of sharing crazy hours.
My Friday night was a crazy rock and roll fun evening. Work in the lab, with an hour break for pub, and the highlight was going to Gino's for takeaway pasta (which wasn't bad, but their pizzas and calzone are better).
Am exhausted, so will bid you all goodnight
AcidCat
My Friday night was a crazy rock and roll fun evening. Work in the lab, with an hour break for pub, and the highlight was going to Gino's for takeaway pasta (which wasn't bad, but their pizzas and calzone are better).
Am exhausted, so will bid you all goodnight
AcidCat
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Grasp the Nettle
Today I had a short day at the lab for recent standards. I left before 22:30, which is a big improvement.
When I rejoined the lab this year, everything had changed for the better. Recently the cracks had started to appear, and Jizznut seemed to be irritating many people in the group. It hit the point that there was a definite split in the group, and factions were starting to form.
I wasn't sure what to do. I found out the supervisor was aware that not all was well, but I don't think he wanted to intervene unless he had to, hoping we would sort it out ourselves. Our line manager (PimpDaddy) is too kind and relaxed to sort anything out, so it seemed like all could come crashing down. I'm only there for under two more months, but I didn't want to see the group tear itself apart, specially as I think the group are a lovely bunch.
So, when I found we were the last to leave, I took my chance. I asked to speak to him for a few minutes, and asked how he felt in the group. I explained the friction surrounding him in the group, and what was causing the problems. He said he understood, and was trying to solve the problems, but found the rest of the group were also to blame.
I really hope we manage to improve things. The next few days will tell. I honestly think that all the group are very good people, but we can annoy each other quite easily.
I hate confrontation, but I feel that it really did help. Avoiding confrontation is a bad habit I've picked up from my parents, but I realise it's quite harmful. I'm going to try and keep it going, as bitching behind people's back doesn't solve anything in the long term: it just makes you feel better in the short term. Confronting the problems lead to a kill or cure: let's hope it's a cure...
Love to you all
AcidCat
When I rejoined the lab this year, everything had changed for the better. Recently the cracks had started to appear, and Jizznut seemed to be irritating many people in the group. It hit the point that there was a definite split in the group, and factions were starting to form.
I wasn't sure what to do. I found out the supervisor was aware that not all was well, but I don't think he wanted to intervene unless he had to, hoping we would sort it out ourselves. Our line manager (PimpDaddy) is too kind and relaxed to sort anything out, so it seemed like all could come crashing down. I'm only there for under two more months, but I didn't want to see the group tear itself apart, specially as I think the group are a lovely bunch.
So, when I found we were the last to leave, I took my chance. I asked to speak to him for a few minutes, and asked how he felt in the group. I explained the friction surrounding him in the group, and what was causing the problems. He said he understood, and was trying to solve the problems, but found the rest of the group were also to blame.
I really hope we manage to improve things. The next few days will tell. I honestly think that all the group are very good people, but we can annoy each other quite easily.
I hate confrontation, but I feel that it really did help. Avoiding confrontation is a bad habit I've picked up from my parents, but I realise it's quite harmful. I'm going to try and keep it going, as bitching behind people's back doesn't solve anything in the long term: it just makes you feel better in the short term. Confronting the problems lead to a kill or cure: let's hope it's a cure...
Love to you all
AcidCat
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
St. Valentine's Day Massacre
I'm finally getting used to working late...
Valentine's Day is pretty depressing. Thanks to anti-depressants and some very good friends and wonderful family, it didn't hit me very hard, but anytime I thought about it, it's pretty miserable.
For those of you lucky enough to be in a relationship, if you're in the early throes where all is happy and loved up, Valentine's day is fun, but barely an improvement. All days are great, and romantic.
For those of you in a relationship, the stress of making it a special day and getting a really lovely gift and card makes it a particularly unromantic day. Not ideal.
For those of us who are alone, Valentine's day is really not a very happy day. It serves to remind you how incomplete you are on your own. All the happy couples you see together make you feel more alone. It's the day of unrequited love, where you dare to whisper anonymously to your beloved one that you wish to be part of their life: where if you don't receive a Valentine, you wonder if you're destined to spend the rest of your life alone, or with someone who isn't right. You may slide through life without a soul mate. Or it may remind you of the person who you think was your soul mate and escaped.
So a pox on Valentine's day. Use this day to remember your friends and other loved ones. And just appreciate your partner if you're lucky enough to be with one. Forgive their little mistakes, if they truly love you, the colour or type of the flowers really doesn't matter.
So, a platonic love to you all. Especially those friends of you who helped me, doubly especially my friends on Valentines day (this includes you, my friends who texted me to ask if I wanted to do stuff this weekend).
Be happy all,
Love
AcidCat
PS. Here are two songs dedicated to you all (I've come over all disc-jockey phone-in).
To all you singletons out there, you're not alone. We're alone together, so we're not truly alone (honest).
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
But I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
Go on now go.
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
And you see me
Somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
Still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me
Go on now go.
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive
That I can't believe we're through.
They say that time's a healer.
And I'm better without you.
It's gonna take time I know,
But I'll get over you.
Look in my life.
Look in my heart.
I have seen them fall apart.
Now I'm ready to rise again.
Just look in my hopes.
Look at my dreams
Building bridges from these scenes.
Now, I'm ready to rise again.
Caught up in my thinking.
Like a prisoner in my mind.
You pose so many questions.
But, the truth was hard to find.
I better think twice I know
that I'll get over you.
Look in my life.
Look in my heart.
I have seen them fall apart.
Now I'm ready to rise again.
Just look in my hopes.
Look in my dreams
Building bridges from these scenes.
Now, I'm ready to rise again.
Much time has passed between us.
Do you still think of me at all?
My world of broken promises.
Now, you won't catch me when I fall.
Look in my life.
Look in my heart.
I have seen them fall apart.
Now I'm ready to rise again.
Just look in my hopes.
Look at my dreams
Building bridges from these scenes.
Now, I'm ready to rise again.
I'm going to make it all right.
Yes, I'm going to rise, gonna make it all right.
I'm going to be who I want to be yeah baby.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to make it all right.
I'm going to make it all right.
I'm going to make it all right.
Yeah.
I'm going to make it all right.
Valentine's Day is pretty depressing. Thanks to anti-depressants and some very good friends and wonderful family, it didn't hit me very hard, but anytime I thought about it, it's pretty miserable.
For those of you lucky enough to be in a relationship, if you're in the early throes where all is happy and loved up, Valentine's day is fun, but barely an improvement. All days are great, and romantic.
For those of you in a relationship, the stress of making it a special day and getting a really lovely gift and card makes it a particularly unromantic day. Not ideal.
For those of us who are alone, Valentine's day is really not a very happy day. It serves to remind you how incomplete you are on your own. All the happy couples you see together make you feel more alone. It's the day of unrequited love, where you dare to whisper anonymously to your beloved one that you wish to be part of their life: where if you don't receive a Valentine, you wonder if you're destined to spend the rest of your life alone, or with someone who isn't right. You may slide through life without a soul mate. Or it may remind you of the person who you think was your soul mate and escaped.
So a pox on Valentine's day. Use this day to remember your friends and other loved ones. And just appreciate your partner if you're lucky enough to be with one. Forgive their little mistakes, if they truly love you, the colour or type of the flowers really doesn't matter.
So, a platonic love to you all. Especially those friends of you who helped me, doubly especially my friends on Valentines day (this includes you, my friends who texted me to ask if I wanted to do stuff this weekend).
Be happy all,
Love
AcidCat
PS. Here are two songs dedicated to you all (I've come over all disc-jockey phone-in).
To all you singletons out there, you're not alone. We're alone together, so we're not truly alone (honest).
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
But I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
Go on now go.
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
And you see me
Somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
Still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me
Go on now go.
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive
Rise by Gabrielle
I know that it's over.That I can't believe we're through.
They say that time's a healer.
And I'm better without you.
It's gonna take time I know,
But I'll get over you.
Look in my life.
Look in my heart.
I have seen them fall apart.
Now I'm ready to rise again.
Just look in my hopes.
Look at my dreams
Building bridges from these scenes.
Now, I'm ready to rise again.
Caught up in my thinking.
Like a prisoner in my mind.
You pose so many questions.
But, the truth was hard to find.
I better think twice I know
that I'll get over you.
Look in my life.
Look in my heart.
I have seen them fall apart.
Now I'm ready to rise again.
Just look in my hopes.
Look in my dreams
Building bridges from these scenes.
Now, I'm ready to rise again.
Much time has passed between us.
Do you still think of me at all?
My world of broken promises.
Now, you won't catch me when I fall.
Look in my life.
Look in my heart.
I have seen them fall apart.
Now I'm ready to rise again.
Just look in my hopes.
Look at my dreams
Building bridges from these scenes.
Now, I'm ready to rise again.
I'm going to make it all right.
Yes, I'm going to rise, gonna make it all right.
I'm going to be who I want to be yeah baby.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to make it all right.
I'm going to make it all right.
I'm going to make it all right.
Yeah.
I'm going to make it all right.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
It's after midnight and he's all alone...
Ok, just got back from work, it's nearly midnight, so will keep this one briefish.
My day has been reasonably good. I think I'm making progress with the work, and had a nice chatty day with everyone, where I think everyone is getting on well. Had a pizza take-out dinner from "Ask" with JizzNut and PimpDaddy. I think "Ask" is a bit overpriced and very average, but my old complaint about not enough choices has been tackled, and the takeout prices are very reasonable for pizza.
Anyway, this post is mostly about a progress check against my depression, and my whole post-relationship hole.
I think I'm doing quite well. I'm able to listen to lots more music which I couldn't bear to hear 4 months ago, but still draw the line at The Streets - "Dry your eyes" or Robbie Williams' - "She's the One", which are just too much for me to bear.
Although I try not to think of her much, she's in my thoughts all the time. I don't know how I really feel about her. I'd like to think that even if she wanted me back, I'd have to think or maybe even say no, but I miss her so much that I'd be putty. As it is, all I can do is exercise my other loves: my love for my family and friends. It's nice, but not the same. So if Kylie is feeling bored, and wants someone to whinge about splitting up with their significant other, I'll keep a cup of tea or coffee on the boil...
Here's holding my breath.
AcidCat
My day has been reasonably good. I think I'm making progress with the work, and had a nice chatty day with everyone, where I think everyone is getting on well. Had a pizza take-out dinner from "Ask" with JizzNut and PimpDaddy. I think "Ask" is a bit overpriced and very average, but my old complaint about not enough choices has been tackled, and the takeout prices are very reasonable for pizza.
Anyway, this post is mostly about a progress check against my depression, and my whole post-relationship hole.
I think I'm doing quite well. I'm able to listen to lots more music which I couldn't bear to hear 4 months ago, but still draw the line at The Streets - "Dry your eyes" or Robbie Williams' - "She's the One", which are just too much for me to bear.
Although I try not to think of her much, she's in my thoughts all the time. I don't know how I really feel about her. I'd like to think that even if she wanted me back, I'd have to think or maybe even say no, but I miss her so much that I'd be putty. As it is, all I can do is exercise my other loves: my love for my family and friends. It's nice, but not the same. So if Kylie is feeling bored, and wants someone to whinge about splitting up with their significant other, I'll keep a cup of tea or coffee on the boil...
Here's holding my breath.
AcidCat
Monday, February 12, 2007
I don't like Mondays
I've been suffering from the fear today. It's clicked how little time I have left to finish my lab work and how it's not working at the moment. Thankfully, I have the godsend that is a good supervisor who is coming up with a contingency plan right now for an alternative mini project I can do to get a good enough thesis.
Anyway, I had a nice Sunday. I met up with my brother for dinner at a mediocre place, but the company was excellent. I'm incredibly lucky for having a family I'm close to and love spending time with.
I'm going to introduce some more people: My work colleagues.
This is a list of them:
My supervisor who I will refer to as my supervisor.
My senior colleague who has the identities: "Pimp Daddy Palladium" and "Tranny Magnet".
My other colleagues who have the nicknames:
Captain Anal
Sphincter Boy
L.G.
The Ringleader
Jizz Nut
I may explain these nicknames if appropiate, but I think they're more amusing and say quite a lot about my work environment just as they are.
This evening I went to Tai Chi again with my brother. Captain Anal came along too and was a natural. I'm pleased to report that he enjoyed it and said he would come back.
After a quick post Tai Chi drink at the pub, I grabbed some late dinner at the kebab van I used to frequent as an undergraduate and hadn't been to for around 4 years. As a nostalgia kick, I decided to go for what I used to: Chips, cheese, chicken and garlic mayo. It was pleasing that the prices had barely risen, but far more pleasing that I was recognised, with a long time no see. We had a little bit of banter and a chat. The food was good too, but I think I've grown up past the chicken which is too salty for me nowadays.
I went back to the lab, and got kidnapped to KFC with L.G, Pimp Daddy, and the Ringleader. The Ringleader had a great Monday, his work had gone well, and he thinks he has found his soulmate. He seems to have accepted that his soulmate lives in Canada.
I had a bit of a chat, but was exhausted, and packed up at the lab and went home.
Goodnight and love to you all
AcidCat
Anyway, I had a nice Sunday. I met up with my brother for dinner at a mediocre place, but the company was excellent. I'm incredibly lucky for having a family I'm close to and love spending time with.
I'm going to introduce some more people: My work colleagues.
This is a list of them:
My supervisor who I will refer to as my supervisor.
My senior colleague who has the identities: "Pimp Daddy Palladium" and "Tranny Magnet".
My other colleagues who have the nicknames:
Captain Anal
Sphincter Boy
L.G.
The Ringleader
Jizz Nut
I may explain these nicknames if appropiate, but I think they're more amusing and say quite a lot about my work environment just as they are.
This evening I went to Tai Chi again with my brother. Captain Anal came along too and was a natural. I'm pleased to report that he enjoyed it and said he would come back.
After a quick post Tai Chi drink at the pub, I grabbed some late dinner at the kebab van I used to frequent as an undergraduate and hadn't been to for around 4 years. As a nostalgia kick, I decided to go for what I used to: Chips, cheese, chicken and garlic mayo. It was pleasing that the prices had barely risen, but far more pleasing that I was recognised, with a long time no see. We had a little bit of banter and a chat. The food was good too, but I think I've grown up past the chicken which is too salty for me nowadays.
I went back to the lab, and got kidnapped to KFC with L.G, Pimp Daddy, and the Ringleader. The Ringleader had a great Monday, his work had gone well, and he thinks he has found his soulmate. He seems to have accepted that his soulmate lives in Canada.
I had a bit of a chat, but was exhausted, and packed up at the lab and went home.
Goodnight and love to you all
AcidCat
Sunday, February 11, 2007
AcidCat
I've kept this blog anonymous intentionally. It means I'm able to write more candidly than if people knew who I was.
I've pitched this at a level that if you know me, you'll probably know it's me just from what I've written. If you don't know me, who I am is irrelevant anyway.
Most importantly, anyone who knows me but wants to find out about me, and googles for me won't find this blog. It'd have to be a fluke. I certainly haven't told anyone about this blog, and have gone to efforts to make sure it's reasonably secret (hence the hiatus in mid-January when I didn't have a personal internet connection in my room).
It's a bit paranoid, and I'm not interesting enough to make this worthwhile. Nevertheless, I do value my privacy. When people ask if I'd rather be rich, powerful, or famous, it's easy to discard famous as I'd rather not be famous (but I'd like both the other two... and as rich and powerful as possible please).
That's why I write under a pseudonym. AcidCat is a clue, if rather oblique. It is a reference to what I do, and one of my hobbies.
If anyone thinks they know who I am, email me at acidcat@gmail.com. I don't offer prizes or anything, specially as I'm deliberately trying to keep private, but if you're a friend who I've lost touch with, chances are I'd love to get back in touch and be a better friend again.
Someday I'll fly away.
AcidCat
I've pitched this at a level that if you know me, you'll probably know it's me just from what I've written. If you don't know me, who I am is irrelevant anyway.
Most importantly, anyone who knows me but wants to find out about me, and googles for me won't find this blog. It'd have to be a fluke. I certainly haven't told anyone about this blog, and have gone to efforts to make sure it's reasonably secret (hence the hiatus in mid-January when I didn't have a personal internet connection in my room).
It's a bit paranoid, and I'm not interesting enough to make this worthwhile. Nevertheless, I do value my privacy. When people ask if I'd rather be rich, powerful, or famous, it's easy to discard famous as I'd rather not be famous (but I'd like both the other two... and as rich and powerful as possible please).
That's why I write under a pseudonym. AcidCat is a clue, if rather oblique. It is a reference to what I do, and one of my hobbies.
If anyone thinks they know who I am, email me at acidcat@gmail.com. I don't offer prizes or anything, specially as I'm deliberately trying to keep private, but if you're a friend who I've lost touch with, chances are I'd love to get back in touch and be a better friend again.
Someday I'll fly away.
AcidCat
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Full Friday
Yesterday I didn't post because I went out with my group. It was a fun evening.
First we went to a pub with another group and was ok, but things didn't really kick off until we went for dinner.
We wanted to go to a Thai that we had recommended to us. Sadly they didn't have a table for 4 until 90 minutes later, so we moved onto a different Chinese restaurant called Sojo. They had a table instantly, and rushed us to order, so we were pleased that we would be eating soon.
We waited.
And waited.
Then my main order arrived, and my friends, and my portion of rice. We assumed that his rice, and our companion's food were on the way. So we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
When we gestured to the many waitresses, they waved their fingers at us and said "Coming soon! Coming soon!".
Meanwhile, my food had started to congeal, and my friend's main (still without rice) was stone cold.
They brought out the oriental duck salad, which for £8 was a tiny portion of cold looking boiled duck, with two leaves of raw lettuce and a bit of onion on the side. Which made perfect sense that they had taken so long to bring it out, as it was clearly a difficult and time consuming dish to prepare, as it looked like it had been sitting on the side of a table for a day or two.
After we waited more, and we were still waiting on a main, and three portions of rice, we went to chat to a waitress. She rushed past us, and when we stopped them and asked to speak to a manager, they claimed there wasn't one there.
We got up to leave.
Surprisingly, all of a sudden we actually got some attention from the waiting staff.
We had a waitress screaming at us: "No leave! Not finished!". We told her we were leaving because the service was appalling, and we'd waited too long (close to 2 hours), our food had gone cold. We didn't even start on the quality of the duck salad.
She decided to change tack: "We cooked the food, you have to pay!". We pointed out that the food still hadn't all arrived, the food was untouched, and we were leaving. She demanded that as we had asked for the food, we'd have to pay. We stood firm and refused.
She said she was calling the police. We told her to call them. The police would have laughed in her face anyway. She went off to use the phone, thinking she was going to intimidate us.
She came back and said we had to pay. We said we'd been through that and we refused, and were happy to just wait for the police.
She said the manager was coming. We said we were pleased, and would love to talk to him.
She then demanded we at least pay for the soft drinks we'd ordered to go with the dinner, and been sipping at while waiting. At this point we realised she was really clutching at straws. We refused on principle, even though it would have only been a few pounds each.
She said it was one of the top 10 restaurants in Oxford! Really?!
The only way I could start to rationalise this is:
And not even any sign of our fourth and final main course!
Hmm... Methinks we won't be going back there any time soon.
We managed to get food much quicker, cheaper, better and with superior service at the nearby Cafe Orient. It was kind of fun in a way, and was a good way to blow off steam. We regretted now just waiting 90 minutes at the original Thai, as we would have ended up eating before.
We went for a couple of quick drinkies afterwards. I had my first alcohol since my life fell apart. I had a bottle of the excellent "Quinns", a 100% fruit juice, where the alcohol derives from fermentation of the juice. It's a bit dangerous as you can barely taste the alcohol, so it's easy to drink. The nicest alcoholic drink in the world.
On my way back, I walked past a stranger struggling to hold up his vomitting friend. I offered my help, and it was gratefully accepted, so I supported him so he didn't fall forwards into the gathering pool. When we helped his friend up off the floor, I realised that it was someone I knew a bit, and so we walked/dragged/carried him to his home, where his friend managed to get him to bed. I couldn't quite make out everything he was mumbling, but I think I heard him lament he didn't know where he was going, how he fitted in, who he really was, and how the world works. Same with me friend, it's a scary place out there.
An eventful evening, and quite enjoyable in a weird sort of way. It ended up with me not surfacing properly till 4pm today though. I'm getting old.
So to summarise,
AcidCat
First we went to a pub with another group and was ok, but things didn't really kick off until we went for dinner.
We wanted to go to a Thai that we had recommended to us. Sadly they didn't have a table for 4 until 90 minutes later, so we moved onto a different Chinese restaurant called Sojo. They had a table instantly, and rushed us to order, so we were pleased that we would be eating soon.
We waited.
And waited.
Then my main order arrived, and my friends, and my portion of rice. We assumed that his rice, and our companion's food were on the way. So we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
When we gestured to the many waitresses, they waved their fingers at us and said "Coming soon! Coming soon!".
Meanwhile, my food had started to congeal, and my friend's main (still without rice) was stone cold.
They brought out the oriental duck salad, which for £8 was a tiny portion of cold looking boiled duck, with two leaves of raw lettuce and a bit of onion on the side. Which made perfect sense that they had taken so long to bring it out, as it was clearly a difficult and time consuming dish to prepare, as it looked like it had been sitting on the side of a table for a day or two.
After we waited more, and we were still waiting on a main, and three portions of rice, we went to chat to a waitress. She rushed past us, and when we stopped them and asked to speak to a manager, they claimed there wasn't one there.
We got up to leave.
Surprisingly, all of a sudden we actually got some attention from the waiting staff.
We had a waitress screaming at us: "No leave! Not finished!". We told her we were leaving because the service was appalling, and we'd waited too long (close to 2 hours), our food had gone cold. We didn't even start on the quality of the duck salad.
She decided to change tack: "We cooked the food, you have to pay!". We pointed out that the food still hadn't all arrived, the food was untouched, and we were leaving. She demanded that as we had asked for the food, we'd have to pay. We stood firm and refused.
She said she was calling the police. We told her to call them. The police would have laughed in her face anyway. She went off to use the phone, thinking she was going to intimidate us.
She came back and said we had to pay. We said we'd been through that and we refused, and were happy to just wait for the police.
She said the manager was coming. We said we were pleased, and would love to talk to him.
She then demanded we at least pay for the soft drinks we'd ordered to go with the dinner, and been sipping at while waiting. At this point we realised she was really clutching at straws. We refused on principle, even though it would have only been a few pounds each.
She said it was one of the top 10 restaurants in Oxford! Really?!
The only way I could start to rationalise this is:
- If we're only talking about Chinese, and excluding Thai, Japanese, and all other cuisines.
- If we're only including those in the very centre of town, so excluding Summertown area's Xi'an.
- Wok and Roll, the local takeaway at half the price
- Cafe Orient, a quick bite chinese which is also a third cheaper than Sojo
- Cafe Opium, a slightly more upmarket one which is also nicer and though more expensive than 1 and 2, still cheaper and larger portions than Sojo.
- The vastly superior Pink Giraffe.
- The random chinese takeaways and other eateries in and around the train station.
- Any chinese food from the Sainsbury's / Marks and Spencer range.
- Kebab van food with Soy sauce on it.
- Kebab van food without soy sauce on it.
- Even bloody McDonalds when they do mock chinese rib burgers.
- Then and only then, try Sojo.
And not even any sign of our fourth and final main course!
Hmm... Methinks we won't be going back there any time soon.
We managed to get food much quicker, cheaper, better and with superior service at the nearby Cafe Orient. It was kind of fun in a way, and was a good way to blow off steam. We regretted now just waiting 90 minutes at the original Thai, as we would have ended up eating before.
We went for a couple of quick drinkies afterwards. I had my first alcohol since my life fell apart. I had a bottle of the excellent "Quinns", a 100% fruit juice, where the alcohol derives from fermentation of the juice. It's a bit dangerous as you can barely taste the alcohol, so it's easy to drink. The nicest alcoholic drink in the world.
On my way back, I walked past a stranger struggling to hold up his vomitting friend. I offered my help, and it was gratefully accepted, so I supported him so he didn't fall forwards into the gathering pool. When we helped his friend up off the floor, I realised that it was someone I knew a bit, and so we walked/dragged/carried him to his home, where his friend managed to get him to bed. I couldn't quite make out everything he was mumbling, but I think I heard him lament he didn't know where he was going, how he fitted in, who he really was, and how the world works. Same with me friend, it's a scary place out there.
An eventful evening, and quite enjoyable in a weird sort of way. It ended up with me not surfacing properly till 4pm today though. I'm getting old.
So to summarise,
- If you were thinking of going to Sojo, think again (worst service in my entire life).
- To the person I met on the street, your friend who was looking after you and made sure you got home is a hell of a friend. I'm not sure how long he was holding you up for before I turned up, but I don't know how he managed. You're very lucky to have a friend like that. (PS Hope you weren't too hungover today).
- It's sad that philosophy and big life questions often only get asked by university students or drinkers (or people who fall into both). Maybe we'd live in a better world if we stopped to think occasionally.
AcidCat
Friday, February 09, 2007
Only in my dreams
I dreamed of her again last night.
I dreamed we gave it a new chance. I don't remember much, except that I felt really happy and remembered saying "I don't really mind about anything else, if we can just have a chance of making it all work, I'll be happy to try anything". It was a real shock waking up again, it felt so real.
I wonder if it's my sub-conscious trying to help me heal. It's making me realise that I'm not at all over her, and it helps me understand my feelings for her. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and I now understand that despite hating what she's done to me, I still love her so much. I still regret not doing enough to keep her.
So if you're lucky enough to have a loved one, make them feel special today. Tomorrow may be too late.
AcidCat
PS I realise this post is very similar to another one I wrote in January, but it reflects what I need to write now.
I dreamed we gave it a new chance. I don't remember much, except that I felt really happy and remembered saying "I don't really mind about anything else, if we can just have a chance of making it all work, I'll be happy to try anything". It was a real shock waking up again, it felt so real.
I wonder if it's my sub-conscious trying to help me heal. It's making me realise that I'm not at all over her, and it helps me understand my feelings for her. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and I now understand that despite hating what she's done to me, I still love her so much. I still regret not doing enough to keep her.
So if you're lucky enough to have a loved one, make them feel special today. Tomorrow may be too late.
AcidCat
PS I realise this post is very similar to another one I wrote in January, but it reflects what I need to write now.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Let it Snow
I woke this morning to find my room colder than ever. On opening the curtain, I found that the whole landscape was covered by a thick sheet of snow. It's beautiful and such a rare occurrance.
It's a little troublesome on a practical level. People in the UK aren't used to snow. My commute into work for our 9 am meeting was somewhat more eventful than normal. Trying to cycle round corners quickly when the ground is covered with a few inches of snow is an interesting experience, specially when you can feel your back wheel slide out from under you. The drivers are even more impatient, so I almost got run over twice.
Anyway, I'm exhausted, I've spent about fourteen hours around the lab today. I'm off to bed. I'll try and update properly tomorrow. I've got a lot to say, despite no-one listening. That's one of the things I want to post about: what's the point of writing a blog that no-one will hear (#Eleanor Rigby#)?
Goodnight.
AcidCat
It's a little troublesome on a practical level. People in the UK aren't used to snow. My commute into work for our 9 am meeting was somewhat more eventful than normal. Trying to cycle round corners quickly when the ground is covered with a few inches of snow is an interesting experience, specially when you can feel your back wheel slide out from under you. The drivers are even more impatient, so I almost got run over twice.
Anyway, I'm exhausted, I've spent about fourteen hours around the lab today. I'm off to bed. I'll try and update properly tomorrow. I've got a lot to say, despite no-one listening. That's one of the things I want to post about: what's the point of writing a blog that no-one will hear (#Eleanor Rigby#)?
Goodnight.
AcidCat
Confidence Boost
Depression is like walking along the coast with a cliff on one side.
You're skirting the edge, on a slope leaning towards the drop. The natural tendency is for you to meander towards the precipice, and you need to fight the temptation to let it, even though it's damn hard work, and people don't understand what you're going through.
Sometimes you have a shit day. Something happens, like you get a text from the girl who said she doesn't want to be with you anymore, and you start to slide to the edge. You fear going over less, and you don't care: it can even appear appealing. Or even you just start to let the normal frustrations of the day get to you, and it seems like a good way to escape, just to go with the flow, and say "Sod this: what is the point?".
To keep going, you need a foothold to push you away from the fall. Something to cling to, that helps you pull yourself away from the brink. If you're lucky to be close enough to your family, it may be spending time with your brother or sister, or chatting to your parents on the phone, where they show you how much you mean to them just by them enjoying your presence. A friend making time for you. Something, anything to make your existence feel like it has a point. Like the world would be a worse place if you didn't exist.
Maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll have someone who you look up to and admire pay you a compliment. This could be a boss or supervisor, may be the person who you respect most, who's opinion you value most outside of your family. They may try and rebuild your shattered self-esteem and ego, with compliments that sound sincere, and are more unexpected, unnecessary and vehement than required simply for politeness. They can lift you up and make you feel much more intelligent and inspired than you thought. They can drag you away from falling within moments.
If you're lucky enough to have people drag you away from the edge, remember how lucky you are. Value these people. Show them how important they are to you. Collectively, they are literally life savers.
And with that, I bid you all love and goodnight. If you're one of the people who lift me up, then you have all my love already.
AcidCat
You're skirting the edge, on a slope leaning towards the drop. The natural tendency is for you to meander towards the precipice, and you need to fight the temptation to let it, even though it's damn hard work, and people don't understand what you're going through.
Sometimes you have a shit day. Something happens, like you get a text from the girl who said she doesn't want to be with you anymore, and you start to slide to the edge. You fear going over less, and you don't care: it can even appear appealing. Or even you just start to let the normal frustrations of the day get to you, and it seems like a good way to escape, just to go with the flow, and say "Sod this: what is the point?".
To keep going, you need a foothold to push you away from the fall. Something to cling to, that helps you pull yourself away from the brink. If you're lucky to be close enough to your family, it may be spending time with your brother or sister, or chatting to your parents on the phone, where they show you how much you mean to them just by them enjoying your presence. A friend making time for you. Something, anything to make your existence feel like it has a point. Like the world would be a worse place if you didn't exist.
Maybe, if you're very lucky, you'll have someone who you look up to and admire pay you a compliment. This could be a boss or supervisor, may be the person who you respect most, who's opinion you value most outside of your family. They may try and rebuild your shattered self-esteem and ego, with compliments that sound sincere, and are more unexpected, unnecessary and vehement than required simply for politeness. They can lift you up and make you feel much more intelligent and inspired than you thought. They can drag you away from falling within moments.
If you're lucky enough to have people drag you away from the edge, remember how lucky you are. Value these people. Show them how important they are to you. Collectively, they are literally life savers.
And with that, I bid you all love and goodnight. If you're one of the people who lift me up, then you have all my love already.
AcidCat
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
So Tired
Hi everyone,
I'm really tired now as I've only just got back home from work. I've been working till quarter to midnight trying to actually get stuff done. I only managed as much as I have with the company of our excellent post-doc, it's really difficult and eerie (and illegal) to work alone in the lab. I don't work very well with a full lab, it's always a bit too cramped. So this evening, with just me and the inspiration of the post-doc, I put serious hours in. I'm tired, so it may well backfire on me when it turns out my exhaustion prevents me from working efficiently tomorrow. I'm only blogging to celebrate my internet connection in my room being installed and set up. I'm curled up in bed with a laptop and listening to the late book at bedtime on Radio 4.
Anyway, I did something mundane for most, but it's reasonably momentous to me. I sent The One who Got Away a text message asking for my bit of the money we had in a shared account. It feels like I can start to move on a bit. I'm looking forward to cashing the cheque, then trying to never think about her ever again. I'm so confused about it all. I still love her so much, and miss her like crazy. I don't understand how she could hurt me so badly though, and I think I'd rather never see her or hear from her again than see her and see how happy she is without me, and see how lucky the people who have her are. I turned off my phone straight after sending the text just in the unlikely event of her trying to ring back (especially as it was late at night anyway).
Okey dokey, this is now much later than I was intending, and the laptop isn't liking being up so late, so I'm off to bed, but will try and finish what I planned on writing in the morning if I have time.
Good night all.
AcidCat
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, now it's the next morning, time to finish the post. Got a few minutes before I head to work, so better make this quick. For the amount of sleep I've had, I'm feeling reasonably awake and refreshed.
The charity blind date form I got for my lab mate went down a bit like a lead balloon. He wasn't that keen, basically for shyness reasons. He also turned it back on me, and said he'd only go if I went (as we're the only people in the lab currently unattached). I was really tempted, and torn, specially as it seemed like the cult of the "Yes" was definitely taunting me. In the end I wussed out, using the excuse of my recent experiences of the past few months. Also, as it turned out, he was busy on Valentine's Day anyway, as he was going to a college dinner with our supervisor.
I also sidestepped another "yes" yesterday when our post-doc's housemate invited him to watch a video with them, and asked me too. As I was at the lab late with the post-doc and probably missed the film, I felt justified not going to it.
Anyway, better dash, will be late for work as it is...
AcidCat
I'm really tired now as I've only just got back home from work. I've been working till quarter to midnight trying to actually get stuff done. I only managed as much as I have with the company of our excellent post-doc, it's really difficult and eerie (and illegal) to work alone in the lab. I don't work very well with a full lab, it's always a bit too cramped. So this evening, with just me and the inspiration of the post-doc, I put serious hours in. I'm tired, so it may well backfire on me when it turns out my exhaustion prevents me from working efficiently tomorrow. I'm only blogging to celebrate my internet connection in my room being installed and set up. I'm curled up in bed with a laptop and listening to the late book at bedtime on Radio 4.
Anyway, I did something mundane for most, but it's reasonably momentous to me. I sent The One who Got Away a text message asking for my bit of the money we had in a shared account. It feels like I can start to move on a bit. I'm looking forward to cashing the cheque, then trying to never think about her ever again. I'm so confused about it all. I still love her so much, and miss her like crazy. I don't understand how she could hurt me so badly though, and I think I'd rather never see her or hear from her again than see her and see how happy she is without me, and see how lucky the people who have her are. I turned off my phone straight after sending the text just in the unlikely event of her trying to ring back (especially as it was late at night anyway).
Okey dokey, this is now much later than I was intending, and the laptop isn't liking being up so late, so I'm off to bed, but will try and finish what I planned on writing in the morning if I have time.
Good night all.
AcidCat
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, now it's the next morning, time to finish the post. Got a few minutes before I head to work, so better make this quick. For the amount of sleep I've had, I'm feeling reasonably awake and refreshed.
The charity blind date form I got for my lab mate went down a bit like a lead balloon. He wasn't that keen, basically for shyness reasons. He also turned it back on me, and said he'd only go if I went (as we're the only people in the lab currently unattached). I was really tempted, and torn, specially as it seemed like the cult of the "Yes" was definitely taunting me. In the end I wussed out, using the excuse of my recent experiences of the past few months. Also, as it turned out, he was busy on Valentine's Day anyway, as he was going to a college dinner with our supervisor.
I also sidestepped another "yes" yesterday when our post-doc's housemate invited him to watch a video with them, and asked me too. As I was at the lab late with the post-doc and probably missed the film, I felt justified not going to it.
Anyway, better dash, will be late for work as it is...
AcidCat
Monday, February 05, 2007
Didn't say yes
Today was the first real time I've shirked the "Say yes" manifesto. Sure I've declined cups of tea and things like that, but I don't think they really count. Especially with a lovely doting mum who would probably feed me till I exploded if I just kept saying yes to everything.
Anyway, on to the "no".
I went to my second Tai Chi class today (and dragged a lab mate along for company) and had a very good time. The session was fun, and the group went to the pub afterwards, where we sat round an outdoor fire and toasted some marshmallows. I got into a heated debate with an American, when I made a flippant comment about the US, which got taken rather seriously.
Towards the end of the evening, one of the group pushed round forms for a charity blind date event. Everyone was basically turning it down (she later confessed that she wasn't going to do it either). Although she didn't explicitly ask me, I feel like a bit of a cheat because it was an offer by implication, and even had she asked, I would have declined. (I took a form for a lab mate though).
Basically, I rationalised the "no" for these reasons:
1) I don't have much time left here to finish my lab work and get this PhD
2) I'm really not over the whole breakup thing
3) I don't really want to be dating anyone
4) I wouldn't want to spoil some other poor sap's evening
5) I'm terrified at the whole concept of a blind date
6) I really don't want to
Excuses 1-3 are the most relevant, as 4-6 are the kind of excuses which are just that. Excuses. The habits that stop you seeing the whole wide world and living life to the full.
I'm justifying it on the basis of the first three. I'd like to think that if I didn't have the first 3 as excuses I'd use the "yes manifesto" to get over the fear behind the last 3.
In Danny Wallace's book "Yes Man", he talks about different levels of "Yes". Level 1 is the easiest to say yes to: the one's where someone offers you money, or a cup of tea when you want one. He does a few level 5 yeses, where he texts his phone number to a screaming horde of "Busted" fans, or flies to another country on a whim, just because an advert told him to. For me, this blind date would have been a level 5, and I'm just not quite hardcore enough to go that far.
I'm feeling more adventurous, and would encourage the whole saying yes thing, but despite feeling like I've chickened out, I'm not going on the blind date.
So there.
AcidCat
Anyway, on to the "no".
I went to my second Tai Chi class today (and dragged a lab mate along for company) and had a very good time. The session was fun, and the group went to the pub afterwards, where we sat round an outdoor fire and toasted some marshmallows. I got into a heated debate with an American, when I made a flippant comment about the US, which got taken rather seriously.
Towards the end of the evening, one of the group pushed round forms for a charity blind date event. Everyone was basically turning it down (she later confessed that she wasn't going to do it either). Although she didn't explicitly ask me, I feel like a bit of a cheat because it was an offer by implication, and even had she asked, I would have declined. (I took a form for a lab mate though).
Basically, I rationalised the "no" for these reasons:
1) I don't have much time left here to finish my lab work and get this PhD
2) I'm really not over the whole breakup thing
3) I don't really want to be dating anyone
4) I wouldn't want to spoil some other poor sap's evening
5) I'm terrified at the whole concept of a blind date
6) I really don't want to
Excuses 1-3 are the most relevant, as 4-6 are the kind of excuses which are just that. Excuses. The habits that stop you seeing the whole wide world and living life to the full.
I'm justifying it on the basis of the first three. I'd like to think that if I didn't have the first 3 as excuses I'd use the "yes manifesto" to get over the fear behind the last 3.
In Danny Wallace's book "Yes Man", he talks about different levels of "Yes". Level 1 is the easiest to say yes to: the one's where someone offers you money, or a cup of tea when you want one. He does a few level 5 yeses, where he texts his phone number to a screaming horde of "Busted" fans, or flies to another country on a whim, just because an advert told him to. For me, this blind date would have been a level 5, and I'm just not quite hardcore enough to go that far.
I'm feeling more adventurous, and would encourage the whole saying yes thing, but despite feeling like I've chickened out, I'm not going on the blind date.
So there.
AcidCat
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Back again
Hey kids,
It's been quite a long hiatus. If anyone was reading this blog, most would assume that it had gone belly up because of boredom or inertia, much the same as most new year catalysed blogs.
Anyway, the reason I haven't posted recently is that I moved to Oxford to finish off my PhD, and haven't got an internet connection where I'm currently lodging, and I don't really want to blog at work, as I value my anonymity. So, on a Saturday evening of working in the lab, as it's empty of all co-workers, I have a chance to catch up. Hurrah!
Ok, so lots to summarise.
Moving back to Oxford was lovely. I had a wonderful time here as an undergraduate, some of the happiest years of my life. I moved to Cambridge to do my PhD, and hated it. Seriously, if anyone is thinking of applying to university at Oxbridge and think they're similar, they are sadly mistaken. The differences are astounding.
In my experience, Oxford is much bigger and livelier. You can tell Oxford is a city, whereas Cambridge is barely a village. I found Oxford people more welcoming, and Cambridge students more liable to be a bit insular and cliquey, but I suppose there is a little bias, and they both suffer from this snobbishness, just to different degrees (also the college you attend makes a big difference).
Anyway, returning to Oxford I was worried it wouldn't be nice coming back. After all, it's been about 4 years away now, things have moved on, and I barely know anyone here.
It's been fantastic.
It's a bit weird though, the same as it was but different. The lab mates are nicer for having moved to Oxford, but that's in part for them bonding from having to move all the equipment, so I've felt really welcomed.
But also, any students I've met since arriving have been great. The fellow grad students who I share accommodation with, the few times I've seen any of them (due to my long work hours) they have been very amiable.
I went to Tai Chi last Monday. I've been dabbling with it for a while, it's great fun and a good alternative to yoga. The Oxford student society I went to was fantastic. The class itself was really enjoyable, and it was pleasing to see they went to the pub (Turf) afterwards. They were all so friendly and boisterous, it was as if I'd known them for years instead of minutes. This may have been in part due to my brother being a keen member of the society for over a year, but it was a buzz to feel like I belonged so quickly. I'm looking forward to the next class.
My saying yes more resolution is holding. It's very sociable and fun to do. The only downside is you end up not working as hard as you should, and burning the candle at both ends. I'm shattered now! I'm heading home after this post.
In fact today's take home message is:
1) Try something different and new if the opportunity exists.
2) Say "yes" more!
And on that note, I bid you goodnight!
AcidCat
PS Ms Kylie Minogue has announced that she and Oliver Martinez are no longer a couple. I wonder if Kylie goes for twentysomething males who will shortly (fingers crossed) have a PhD and want to be a doctor? Kylie is lovely :) !!!!
It's been quite a long hiatus. If anyone was reading this blog, most would assume that it had gone belly up because of boredom or inertia, much the same as most new year catalysed blogs.
Anyway, the reason I haven't posted recently is that I moved to Oxford to finish off my PhD, and haven't got an internet connection where I'm currently lodging, and I don't really want to blog at work, as I value my anonymity. So, on a Saturday evening of working in the lab, as it's empty of all co-workers, I have a chance to catch up. Hurrah!
Ok, so lots to summarise.
Moving back to Oxford was lovely. I had a wonderful time here as an undergraduate, some of the happiest years of my life. I moved to Cambridge to do my PhD, and hated it. Seriously, if anyone is thinking of applying to university at Oxbridge and think they're similar, they are sadly mistaken. The differences are astounding.
In my experience, Oxford is much bigger and livelier. You can tell Oxford is a city, whereas Cambridge is barely a village. I found Oxford people more welcoming, and Cambridge students more liable to be a bit insular and cliquey, but I suppose there is a little bias, and they both suffer from this snobbishness, just to different degrees (also the college you attend makes a big difference).
Anyway, returning to Oxford I was worried it wouldn't be nice coming back. After all, it's been about 4 years away now, things have moved on, and I barely know anyone here.
It's been fantastic.
It's a bit weird though, the same as it was but different. The lab mates are nicer for having moved to Oxford, but that's in part for them bonding from having to move all the equipment, so I've felt really welcomed.
But also, any students I've met since arriving have been great. The fellow grad students who I share accommodation with, the few times I've seen any of them (due to my long work hours) they have been very amiable.
I went to Tai Chi last Monday. I've been dabbling with it for a while, it's great fun and a good alternative to yoga. The Oxford student society I went to was fantastic. The class itself was really enjoyable, and it was pleasing to see they went to the pub (Turf) afterwards. They were all so friendly and boisterous, it was as if I'd known them for years instead of minutes. This may have been in part due to my brother being a keen member of the society for over a year, but it was a buzz to feel like I belonged so quickly. I'm looking forward to the next class.
My saying yes more resolution is holding. It's very sociable and fun to do. The only downside is you end up not working as hard as you should, and burning the candle at both ends. I'm shattered now! I'm heading home after this post.
In fact today's take home message is:
1) Try something different and new if the opportunity exists.
2) Say "yes" more!
And on that note, I bid you goodnight!
AcidCat
PS Ms Kylie Minogue has announced that she and Oliver Martinez are no longer a couple. I wonder if Kylie goes for twentysomething males who will shortly (fingers crossed) have a PhD and want to be a doctor? Kylie is lovely :) !!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)