So Tired

Hi everyone,

I'm really tired now as I've only just got back home from work. I've been working till quarter to midnight trying to actually get stuff done. I only managed as much as I have with the company of our excellent post-doc, it's really difficult and eerie (and illegal) to work alone in the lab. I don't work very well with a full lab, it's always a bit too cramped. So this evening, with just me and the inspiration of the post-doc, I put serious hours in. I'm tired, so it may well backfire on me when it turns out my exhaustion prevents me from working efficiently tomorrow. I'm only blogging to celebrate my internet connection in my room being installed and set up. I'm curled up in bed with a laptop and listening to the late book at bedtime on Radio 4.

Anyway, I did something mundane for most, but it's reasonably momentous to me. I sent The One who Got Away a text message asking for my bit of the money we had in a shared account. It feels like I can start to move on a bit. I'm looking forward to cashing the cheque, then trying to never think about her ever again. I'm so confused about it all. I still love her so much, and miss her like crazy. I don't understand how she could hurt me so badly though, and I think I'd rather never see her or hear from her again than see her and see how happy she is without me, and see how lucky the people who have her are. I turned off my phone straight after sending the text just in the unlikely event of her trying to ring back (especially as it was late at night anyway).

Okey dokey, this is now much later than I was intending, and the laptop isn't liking being up so late, so I'm off to bed, but will try and finish what I planned on writing in the morning if I have time.

Good night all.

AcidCat

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ok, now it's the next morning, time to finish the post. Got a few minutes before I head to work, so better make this quick. For the amount of sleep I've had, I'm feeling reasonably awake and refreshed.

The charity blind date form I got for my lab mate went down a bit like a lead balloon. He wasn't that keen, basically for shyness reasons. He also turned it back on me, and said he'd only go if I went (as we're the only people in the lab currently unattached). I was really tempted, and torn, specially as it seemed like the cult of the "Yes" was definitely taunting me. In the end I wussed out, using the excuse of my recent experiences of the past few months. Also, as it turned out, he was busy on Valentine's Day anyway, as he was going to a college dinner with our supervisor.

I also sidestepped another "yes" yesterday when our post-doc's housemate invited him to watch a video with them, and asked me too. As I was at the lab late with the post-doc and probably missed the film, I felt justified not going to it.

Anyway, better dash, will be late for work as it is...

AcidCat