Oh, life.

Dear xkcd.
Yet again, you hold a mirror up to life beautifully. Today, you summarise the neuroses that run through a male nerd's mind perfectly.



Seriously - I think this happens all the time, all over the place.

Dream egg

Last night I dreamed that all my co-workers found out that this was my blog. It actually scared the hell out of me - I admit to a fair amount of stuff here that I don't want most people to know.

I think I know why it happened - I've got a secret page here with a message for ~R that I never intended to publish. I accidentally hit "publish post" yesterday, so for a few seconds yesterday, a deeply personal story that I don't even want ~R to read was available. Gave me cold sweats for a few seconds - I'm glad that Google's archiver isn't that fast!

I'm going to be supremely careful about where I post from - only going to use computers that can't be traced back to me - and if so, I'm going to make sure I clear the history afterwards...

Paranoia, moi?

AcidCat

Head over heels

She came back to visit for a few hours yesterday. I was so excited.

Being around her again, feeling her next to me, breathing her scent - it all left me incapable of intelligence. I just drowned in waves of happiness and contentment again.

It was over all too soon. Will have her back next week.

It's really terrifying to realise how far you've fallen for someone. How much power they hold over you. How happy you are when with them, how much is missing when they're away. I was hoping not to fall in love this badly - it makes it harder if/when it ends.

Love you.

AcidCat

Perspective

If you're feeling miserable, small events can really change how you feel

• Like friends taking time out of a party to come knocking on your door to say hi and making sure you're alright. (Thanks M--- and M-- L---)
• Or an unexpected gift. (Thanks to my SSC supervisor M---- {I've been really lucky with good supervisors})
• Or having a enjoying having chat with a friend who seems pleased to see you (Thanks K--)
• Or getting helpful emails from my family (Thanks mum and sis)
• Or receiving any flavour of communication from someone you really love (~R xxx)
  
• Or even, hearing about people who really have things to be upset about. (I'm really sorry to hear your bad news S-----, my thoughts at the moment are with you and your family)

It's time for me to be more balanced. I still don't feel like socialising so will spend quite a lot of the near future on my own avoiding most people, but have to appreciate how lucky I am.

AcidCat

Summer Holiday

The first half of my summer was spent picking apart body parts. My dissection skills leave something to be desired. I was asked to do a deep dissection - let's just say I went a little bit deeper than they wanted, removing things enthusiastically. I could have really benefitted from a bit more supervision and help.

Second half of the holiday I spent about two and a half weeks travelling around Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, Brunei and Kota Kinabalu (in Borneo) with my flatmate L--- (and J-- was in Brunei and Borneo).

The holiday was extremely frustrating. I really fell out with L---. We're like chalk and cheese. I found out that although travelling solo isn't ideal, it's better than a poor travelling companion. I didn't enjoy being the one who had to sort everything and didn't enjoy the general selfishness and lack of gratitude. To be honest, I'm pretty sure L--- didn't enjoy my company either, so I don't think I've got too much right to complain.

Anyway, I should concentrate on some of the highlights of the holiday to make me appreciate the good times out there. Some bits just stand out for me.

• Having the skin nibbled off my feet by "doctor fish" in Kuala Lumpur

"Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes. Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun" - Red Dwarf Theme.

Plunging my feet into a shallow pool filled with tiny fish which attack your feet was a really weird feeling. It's like having your feet firmly prodded and poked - a very ticklish sensation. It's a bit scary, my paranoid streak made me worried that there was a little gang of piranhas hiding somewhere, waiting to pounce. It did make my feet feel noticeably softer and the skin generally felt nicer. I'd really recommend it.

• Snorkelling with the fishes on the islands near Kota Kinabalu

I never understood the idea behind snorkelling before. Scuba - you could freely wander along the bottom, breathing happily from your big tanks of oxygen. Snorkelling - you have to swim right at the surface, and you still can get water in your snorkel and so you can't go deep.

And then I saw the fish.

The islands near Kota Kinabalu are wonderful for snorkelling. A short boat ride from Jesselton Point, you have the choice of 5 islands to explore. I snorkelled on two small ones - Mamutik and Sapi. The water was warm (bath temperature) and blue. The sand was white. The fish were amazing and diverse: such beautiful colours, different sizes and characters. So many beautiful corals beneath them (I still can't believe that they're alive). I risked my digital camera to try and take photos - putting it in a clear plastic bag and taking it underwater. Sadly this was my best photo...

Sadly there just wasn't enough light to get a good, clear, focussed one of fish with my cowboy underwater camera.

I also kept getting bitten by fish, not as pleasantly as the doctor fish (but no actual damage - getting scratched by corals was more painful).

Anyway, these were a few of my highlights of my holiday, I'll leave it there (coming back to it if I have time)

AcidCat

Back in the UK

I've been on holiday for the past two and a half weeks - exploring various parts of Asia - 3 countries. It's been fun in places and I've learned a hell of a lot about myself - may even stick a bit about it down here if I have time - I kept a diary while out there, but it would just be edited highlights.

Glad to be back though. Term has started, but I've had an easy start as I've been doing my project - I'm currently learning about the Alexander Technique. More to come about that soon.

I get to see ~R for the first time in 6 weeks tomorrow. I'm so excited and can't wait. A bit nervous again, but I'm just absolutely thrilled.

AcidCat