Out with the old, in with the new

Hi everybody!

It was her birthday this week. It was her third birthday that I haven't been a part of. Her birthday is one of very few dates which are lodged firmly into my head and I don't forget. I still think of her everyday.

The good news though is that I've been chatting with the most incredible person who has made me think things are good. I'm not one of life's optimists, and I'm really scared about a lot of the life decisions I've made. Chatting to her and being around her just makes me feel amazing.

Only downside to all this is I've fallen for her: in a big way.

In a way, this is good news. It's real progress in recovering from my ex that I know I'm really in love again. It also shows me that I wasn't in love with the other fantastic friends I was crushing on. This is the real thing.

The downsides are: she's on my course. I absolutely adore her, and I'm constantly fighting off the temptation to hang around her in a stalkerish manner. Just being around her gives me such a lift! She's the highlight of any day I see her.

She gives me such butterflies. It's an amazing feeling.

I don't think anything is going to happen. Problem is, I don't know if I'm good enough for her (she's so pretty, funny, kind, cool, interesting, entertaining, smart... I could go on) and I don't know what I can offer her. Even if I am good enough for her, I don't really have enough time to really hang around and do cool stuff together.

She's so amazing!

Even if nothing ever happens, if I can have her as a friend I'll be so happy. She makes me feel so incredible. I feel alive again!

When I'm with her, it puts an exclamation mark on the end of every sentence. (Have been fighting off the urge to hit that key all post long, to keep the number of them reasonable).

She's going to break my heart completely one of these days: I just don't know how.

And for the time being, I'm looking forwards to finding out how ;) !

I forgot how love really feels! I'm just hoping that the eventual come down isn't too painful...

Love to everyone (but especially her)!

AcidCat