Love is the drug!

I've just spent the evening in the presence of the amazing one and her flatmates. My heart is all a-flutter.

I've had an amazing evening, and the time has just flown (3 hours later, and it seems like no time at all). We were just chatting (generally with her flatmates as well, but there were a few minutes in the middle where I got her all to myself).

She just does things to me that I can't explain. It makes me tremble and my heart race. I love the way she looks, her amazing smile, the way she talks about stuff and what she talks about. I get this energy when I'm with her that makes me feel indestructible and invincible. I even adore the way she laughs.

In the few minutes (actually thinking about it rationally, it might have been longer than a few minutes, but it feels like no time at all) I got a chance to speak to her solo, she's managed to dash my hopes rationally: She's still not over her ex (which was a really serious thing, they'd been going out for over three years, and told each other of their devotion), she says she wouldn't want to see a fellow medic, she's enjoying being single, she got asked out by a fellow medic already (I knew I wasn't the only person who saw how amazing she is) and it made things between them awkward (she's avoided him since).

This means that I can't ask her out. I can live in hope that things might change. Maybe she told me about the other person who asked me out because she knows how I feel about her, and she's warning me off (it's a pretty successful way of doing it, I don't really want to risk the one thing that gives me this kind of lift, especially with a course this hard).

Despite this, as I know I can have her for a friend (at least for a bit) I'm still flying high. She's just that amazing. I'm a bit of a boring, unadventurous bastard who's never tried any drugs harder than alcohol before, but seriously: bollocks to barbiturates, LSD is for losers, cocaine is crap: I get a buzz out of being with her that no drug could possibly compare to. And the withdrawal symptoms aren't that bad (yet - I think that bit of pain could be yet to come when the addiction continues for longer - or other shit happens).

I haven't done the work I needed to do for tomorrow, and quite frankly I don't care. I had a much more valuable evening! I now feel that life is good!

Love to all, especially her.

AcidCat

PS Some of my evil bastard flatmates have worked out I've got a crush on her (I don't think they've quite realised quite how deep I've fallen though) and are now taking the piss! (I'm joking about them being bastards, they're actually the nicest, kindest flatmates who are also helping keep me sane... but when they take the piss - well, I think they deserve the gentle beatings I hand out to them occasionally. Damn them! I'm far too blatant (I think it's partly because I keep staring at her to fill myself with her beauty). This is probably part of the reason why I think she's guessed...