Overwhelmed

Wow. I'm a bit overwhelmed.

I'm on a new course, and really felt like I didn't fit in. I hadn't mentioned to the people around me about my birthday as I didn't really want to make a big deal about it. This was mainly so I didn't get disappointed when people would blow me out.

Instead, this evening, I found out my amazing flatmates found out my birthday on Facebook, and threw me a small surprise party and invited some of my course-mates to come along. This was a huge surprise, partly because of the party but partly because I don't think I've really had this kind of thing happen to me before. I don't know if any of my friends have ever organised a surprise party for me (except my ex), so it's a really amazing feeling to think that friends care about you so much that they'll do something like that for you.

Seriously, it was a birthday present that I wasn't expecting and found truly overwhelming. I didn't know what to do or how to act. Words truly failed me. It left me in shock.

In that one act, they made this place seem a lot less cold, and made me feel like I fit in much better. A birthday present that money couldn't buy. I couldn't believe that I had been given the gift of all these people's time and care. Where I was expecting to spend the evening of my birthday quietly on my own, I ended up having a really interesting evening feeling like I was part of some people's lives. For a rare change, I felt part of something bigger, that I wasn't just an insignificant thing who didn't have a purpose or place.

For a while, I felt like I was accepted.

Thank you everyone. Everyone who turned up tonight, thank you so much. And to all of those of you who helped organise this (especially my amazing flatmates) - I love you all. I mean that, deeply. I'm grateful to you in a way that will sound hollow with words.

Thank you

AcidCat