PMT empathy

I've been feeling depressed and anti-social again today. For lunch I couldn't face being around anyone else, so I got take-out from the canteen and went to sit on my own in a room.

What doesn't help a bad mood is when people who know you suffer from seasonal affective disorder just say stuff like "Just sit in front of your light/go get some sun". It feels like you're being told that if you have a shit mood/bad day, the only possible reason is your SAD, and so once you sort that out then everything will always be fine for you. I'm just glad that most people don't know I suffer from depression too, otherwise being told to "just go and take your Prozac" might drive me to physical violence. I really sympathise with women, who frequently suffer from the indignity of having their anger labelled as "must be their time of their month". All you bearers of the XX chromosome, please accept my apologies as someone with XY chromosomes.

What did make things better (in addition to an afternoon nap today) was being asked to have a coffee with C------. (Incidentally she is one of the few who I think realises I suffer from depression - a few people know a certain things, which combined with attention and empathy should let them know my mental status). After the skills session today (where we learnt to intubate - really exciting! Just like on TV, but much, much harder - requiring more muscle power than they show) she asked if I fancied a coffee. We went to have a chat for 20 minutes and she asked after me, but just the action of speaking to someone who came to find me was lovely and made me feel like I'm a part of the world, and not just floating lost.

Thanks C------. I noticed that after that, and after a nap things are getting progressively better. I may still be up after midnight trying to do work for tomorrow, with an exam that I feel underprepared for looming, but I feel ok about it.

AcidCat