Guess who's back, back again!

Hi everyone!

Welcome back! This whole hiatus is coming to an end (hopefully). Six posts in April, one post in May, none in June... poor show! I plead long work hours, endless stress, and fatigue and stress! I never knew I could work so hard or such long hours. I've done 14 to 16 hours a day, seven days a week, for several weeks. It's absolutely knackering, but it feels very virtuous. However, when I finally finished, I've spent a lot of time catching up on lost sleep.

Some of the things that have happened in the huge gap in posting properly:

• I've got addicted to LJ Secret. It's a bit like PostSecret, but updated most days and has an archive of old secrets. The quality control isn't as good, but it's still often touching.
• I decided I like all of my labmates, even JizzNut.
  
• I realise I am worth something. Friends genuinely seemed upset and saddened at my leaving, and were keen on me returning to visit.
• I realise I might be quite good at what I do. I thought I wasn't good as my studies have been pretty unsuccessful by results. However, my wonderful boss, and several of my labmates and other friends have said I'm very good at my job, and have been often nagging me to reconsider my plans to swap tostudying medicine when I finish my studies. I'm starting to consider it... I'm scared though. I've got one life, and not got enough time to both stay in the lab and do the new med school route. I'm worried about ending up in my forties and deciding I cocked up. I don't want to end up thinking "What if?" (which is a major reason for my "say yes" resolution).
• I've given up on saying "yes" blindly. It happened for a variety of reasons. I had built in a hell of a lot of exceptions already, mainly when people asked me for advice in the lab, and had I said yes to all of the questions, there WOULD have been explosions. However, also when I had a deadline to make, I realised that saying "yes" ate into my time heavily. Also it's expensive. However, I still believe in saying "yes" where possible, and hope to do more after I finish my studies... It's fun, and makes you more positive
• I'm weaning off the Prozac. Oh Fluoxetine, we do love you. My mood has been on an upward curve, and I'm starting to get over the depression (I still think of her everyday with sadness though). However, I started weaning off as I ran out of tablets and didn't have enough time to see the doctor for more, so had to stretch them out. Then at my consult, the wonderful, caring Dr. Ketan Bhatt suggested I wean off them. I'm due to try and get off them within a month... Wish me luck!
  

I'm scared by this whole thesis writing. I've got to try and do this, apply for med school, do the exams, all by October.

I don't know if I can do it.

I wonder if I've managed to blag being intelligent to other people, and whether I'll end up being found out. In the worst possible way.

I'm scared.

See you all soon

AcidCat