Grr... my computer decided to throw a tantrum and stop working... just as I was starting to correct my thesis for final submission. I can't easily use other computers as it needs specialist software. I really hate Microsoft and Windows (though I must concede that WinXP is pretty good, especially compared to the other windows products). Looking forwards to reformatting and reinstalling with Linux so I might get a stable platform.
I think the computer stopped due to me taking it with me on a bit of a voyage from Loughborough down to London. I'm a bit annoyed as I wanted to spend the weekend in Loughborough just doing the corrections. I decided to come back as I was meant to meet up with some school friends. The journey looks like it killed off my computer, and my friends decided they didn't want to meet up, so was a wasted trip anyway. I'm dreaming of close, non-flaky friends: any offers?
AcidCat
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Every silver lining has a cloud
My general feelings of elation and celebration came crashing down to an abrupt end.
My brother has just gone through a painful end of relationship. It scares me to see him this hurt. I've been through it, and know there's nothing I can say to help, and very little I can do.
I hate the feeling of helplessness. I really want to help. She was never worthy of him anyway, so I'm not that sad about that, but I'm so angry.
I want to make the whole world work and be right. Instead, I'm miserable and angry that the world is broken and I'm not powerful enough to fix it.
AcidCat
My brother has just gone through a painful end of relationship. It scares me to see him this hurt. I've been through it, and know there's nothing I can say to help, and very little I can do.
I hate the feeling of helplessness. I really want to help. She was never worthy of him anyway, so I'm not that sad about that, but I'm so angry.
I want to make the whole world work and be right. Instead, I'm miserable and angry that the world is broken and I'm not powerful enough to fix it.
AcidCat
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Viva forever
Hi everybody!
Just had a weekend to let the viva sink in fully.
The day of my viva was a fantastic day. My external examiner (whom I respect and admire) reassured me during my pre-viva stress by saying "I don't know about the other guy (internal examiner) but I've read through your thesis, and I say don't worry". It was a hell of a compliment. In addition the congratulations from him as we started the viva was a real confidence boost. Post-viva, the icing on the cake was a comment from him that he would like a copy of my thesis after I had finished my corrections so he could read through it as he was genuinely interested and wanted to chat to my boss about my work as an interested chemist and not as an examiner. Coming from such an amazingly smart and gifted scientist it made me feel so incredibly flattered. There weren't even that many corrections to do!
Other things about the day were also amazing. People who had left the group came back to say hi and celebrate with me. One of whom even took the day off from work to do so (he handed his thesis in on that day whilst there)!
My labmates threw me a fantastic post-viva party. They had bought me some amazing, incredible, generous gifts. The best of which was a framed photo frame filled with pictures of me with past and present lab mates. Made me remember the good times of the past 4 and a bit years. If that on its own wasn't enough, they also got me a huge array of other gifts, some silly and frivolous, and some very sensible and practical, but all incredibly generous and thoughtful. (Amongst which was my much appreciated group T-shirt with number 5 and "Enforcer" on it). It made me feel so stunned, and I hope I had shown my gratitude sufficiently, but am a bit worried that I was so shocked by their incredible generosity and effort that I didn't. In the unlikely event that any of you are reading this, allow me to say "Thank you. Very, very, very much".
The whole experience made me feel so mixed. It emphasised what a wonderful group of people I knew and made me feel high, but also made me feel sad that I was finally leaving, and would no longer be a part of my wonderful supervisor's amazing group.
Fortunately (in some ways) the next day, where I went in to finish my chemicals, an experience made me glad I was leaving. Jizznut, the only person in the lab who I dislike, showed his obnoxious, inconsiderate side. The group has a new PhD student who showed amazing diplomatic skills and defused the situation, but I'm glad I don't need to work in the same room as him. I think it's a real pity I didn't get a chance to work with the new PhD student however, as I think she's fantastic. My supervisor has a talent for choosing good students (with the single exception of Jizznut).
I said a goodbye to my adored supervisor. He's a person I idolise, just because he's an absolutely incredible person. He's so clever, but humble. An amazing scientist but with brilliant social skills (and artistic too). Reasonably junior, but incredibly generous. Just an amazing human being. I bought him a small gift to attempt to express my thanks to him, which he accepted it incredibly graciously and enthusiastically. He also gave me some words of wisdom, and was very humble about his input over the course of my PhD, despite the fact I don't think I could possibly have had a better supervisor. Such a great man. I hope I'm able to stay in touch with him. He said I was welcome to pop in, which was lovely.
I've been going on for ages, but I wanted to put this down, if for no other reason than a record for my own benefit. The viva experience put me on such a high, I want to capture this feeling so I can relive it.
AcidCat
Just had a weekend to let the viva sink in fully.
The day of my viva was a fantastic day. My external examiner (whom I respect and admire) reassured me during my pre-viva stress by saying "I don't know about the other guy (internal examiner) but I've read through your thesis, and I say don't worry". It was a hell of a compliment. In addition the congratulations from him as we started the viva was a real confidence boost. Post-viva, the icing on the cake was a comment from him that he would like a copy of my thesis after I had finished my corrections so he could read through it as he was genuinely interested and wanted to chat to my boss about my work as an interested chemist and not as an examiner. Coming from such an amazingly smart and gifted scientist it made me feel so incredibly flattered. There weren't even that many corrections to do!
Other things about the day were also amazing. People who had left the group came back to say hi and celebrate with me. One of whom even took the day off from work to do so (he handed his thesis in on that day whilst there)!
My labmates threw me a fantastic post-viva party. They had bought me some amazing, incredible, generous gifts. The best of which was a framed photo frame filled with pictures of me with past and present lab mates. Made me remember the good times of the past 4 and a bit years. If that on its own wasn't enough, they also got me a huge array of other gifts, some silly and frivolous, and some very sensible and practical, but all incredibly generous and thoughtful. (Amongst which was my much appreciated group T-shirt with number 5 and "Enforcer" on it). It made me feel so stunned, and I hope I had shown my gratitude sufficiently, but am a bit worried that I was so shocked by their incredible generosity and effort that I didn't. In the unlikely event that any of you are reading this, allow me to say "Thank you. Very, very, very much".
The whole experience made me feel so mixed. It emphasised what a wonderful group of people I knew and made me feel high, but also made me feel sad that I was finally leaving, and would no longer be a part of my wonderful supervisor's amazing group.
Fortunately (in some ways) the next day, where I went in to finish my chemicals, an experience made me glad I was leaving. Jizznut, the only person in the lab who I dislike, showed his obnoxious, inconsiderate side. The group has a new PhD student who showed amazing diplomatic skills and defused the situation, but I'm glad I don't need to work in the same room as him. I think it's a real pity I didn't get a chance to work with the new PhD student however, as I think she's fantastic. My supervisor has a talent for choosing good students (with the single exception of Jizznut).
I said a goodbye to my adored supervisor. He's a person I idolise, just because he's an absolutely incredible person. He's so clever, but humble. An amazing scientist but with brilliant social skills (and artistic too). Reasonably junior, but incredibly generous. Just an amazing human being. I bought him a small gift to attempt to express my thanks to him, which he accepted it incredibly graciously and enthusiastically. He also gave me some words of wisdom, and was very humble about his input over the course of my PhD, despite the fact I don't think I could possibly have had a better supervisor. Such a great man. I hope I'm able to stay in touch with him. He said I was welcome to pop in, which was lovely.
I've been going on for ages, but I wanted to put this down, if for no other reason than a record for my own benefit. The viva experience put me on such a high, I want to capture this feeling so I can relive it.
AcidCat
Friday, May 09, 2008
Judgement day.
It's half past one in the morning, and I have spent the evening celebrating the completion of my PhD viva.
It's been a strange day.
The viva was scheduled for 2pm (I only found out the time the day before). I didn't sleep particularly well the night before, and the hours spent before the viva were slightly tortuous. Especially when 2pm arrived, and the examiners weren't ready. I was kept waiting for half an hour being summoned.
The viva itself took three hours, which is a long time for a viva but the time flew by. I found it nerve-wracking because of the immense occasion, but I shouldn't have been worried: the external examiner said before the viva that my work was good, and on arrival in the viva room (my supervisor's office) they shook my hand and congratulated me on my work and for soldiering on with my PhD.
I can honestly say that if the same questions were asked informally I would have enjoyed the experience. As it was, the pressure made me answer badly and I wasn't happy with how it went. It was an amazing relief to have finished though and it's not all sunk in. I'm going to wait a while to let my thoughts sink in...
Goodnight all!
Dr AcidCat
It's been a strange day.
The viva was scheduled for 2pm (I only found out the time the day before). I didn't sleep particularly well the night before, and the hours spent before the viva were slightly tortuous. Especially when 2pm arrived, and the examiners weren't ready. I was kept waiting for half an hour being summoned.
The viva itself took three hours, which is a long time for a viva but the time flew by. I found it nerve-wracking because of the immense occasion, but I shouldn't have been worried: the external examiner said before the viva that my work was good, and on arrival in the viva room (my supervisor's office) they shook my hand and congratulated me on my work and for soldiering on with my PhD.
I can honestly say that if the same questions were asked informally I would have enjoyed the experience. As it was, the pressure made me answer badly and I wasn't happy with how it went. It was an amazing relief to have finished though and it's not all sunk in. I'm going to wait a while to let my thoughts sink in...
Goodnight all!
Dr AcidCat
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wish me luck
Hey everybody!
It's quarter to one in the morning, 13 hour until my viva. I'm scared. I was fine till yesterday, but now the nerves are getting to me.
Rationally, I know that everything is likely to be fine and I should pass but...
I'm also thrilled and grateful at the people who have wished me luck (especially my amazing ex-lab mate Pimp Daddy who rang me specially). I'm mildly disappointed at how few people have though and how many of my friends don't care/forgot.
Have been waiting for a long time for this moment. It's a rite of passage, and I think it's quite a big deal. I think I'm going to feel different after this. I want to make changes, and now is a good milestone/marker to catalyse the change.
Good luck to anyone else who needs it too.
Peace, love and luck to you all
AcidCat
It's quarter to one in the morning, 13 hour until my viva. I'm scared. I was fine till yesterday, but now the nerves are getting to me.
Rationally, I know that everything is likely to be fine and I should pass but...
I'm also thrilled and grateful at the people who have wished me luck (especially my amazing ex-lab mate Pimp Daddy who rang me specially). I'm mildly disappointed at how few people have though and how many of my friends don't care/forgot.
Have been waiting for a long time for this moment. It's a rite of passage, and I think it's quite a big deal. I think I'm going to feel different after this. I want to make changes, and now is a good milestone/marker to catalyse the change.
Good luck to anyone else who needs it too.
Peace, love and luck to you all
AcidCat
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