One blessing, two blessings...

Hi guys,

Ok, about a week since my last post. I'm feeling a bit better than I was, as I'm only suffering from moments of depression. However, I'm still not doing brilliantly. I think it's mainly due to stress with this med application, work experience, exam I'm meant to be learning stuff for, and thesis to write. It's all taking over and none of it's easy. I feel like I'm drowning under all this stuff, and this loss of control is causing my panic and distress.

Last week I also met up with my school friends or "geek clique" as we were referred to. A civilised, quiet evening down the pub catalysed by the summer return of a friend who has moved down to the seaside, and was back to see his folks. It was fun, and good to see them again, but again, it saddened me that I realised that I was boring compared to the others, and I felt like I hadn't achieved much compared to many of them. Out of the four friends who came, two were in relationships (one of whom was about to buy a house together with his squeeze), one of them owned his house outright with virtually no mortgage, all of them had jobs at which they seemed to be having a good time, and they all seemed to have more or closer friends than me. Two of the four are best mates, and their closeness is something I'm deeply envious of. And we got a phone call from an absent friend saying he was about to propose to his girl. Not a cheery night in some ways.

However, it was lovely to see them, as I think all of them are really great people. One also really took it on himself to help me sort out some of my med problems, so he's reading through my med application, and trying to help me sort out some work experience to make my application much better: "Alexander", I love you, you're the best. He even sorted out a clubbing trip (my first in years) earlier this week, which was fun. It was good to shake out the old legs, and fun to do some dancing. The highlight of the clubbing evening for me was seeing a guy who was a good dancer (urban/hip hop styles), who I was admiring his moves give me respect for my dancing. I loved that moment.

Another blessing to count, was one half of a couple who I knew from uni, who helped me in my darkest time of need rang me last weekend for a chat. I sent the couple a little card to thank them, and despite her extremely busy schedule, rang me and spoke to me for an hour. It was lovely to catch up, and hopefully we'll meet up again soon.

Ok, off to bed, tomorrow we work harder.

Love
AcidCat